I've been thinking about this the last couple of days, and it seems to me that just about anything could be substituted for "autism" in the title. Every human being has "special needs." Being a child, having a child, being old, sick, widowed, poor, unemployed, depressed, alcoholic ... . Every single person who comes in my church has individual needs; every family has specific needs. If our response to any need is, "We have a right not to be bothered by you," instead of, "What can we do for you?" then we as a congregation have failed in our mission.
Any church is going to fail sometimes - a person will be faced on the wrong day with a situation he thinks is too much. However, those should be exceptions to a general pattern of sincere love and sacrificial hospitality.