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SADDAM DENIES PURSUING ‘NUCULAR’ WEAPONS
Borowitz ^ | Borowitz

Posted on 01/30/2003 7:52:29 AM PST by Sir Gawain

SADDAM DENIES PURSUING ‘NUCULAR’ WEAPONS

No Evidence of Nucular Program in Iraq, Strongman Says

Responding to last night’s State of the Union Address in which President George W. Bush repeatedly accused him of attempting to acquire “nucular” weapons, President Saddam Hussein of Iraq today categorically denied having a “nucular” weapons program of any kind.

“Iraq does not now nor has it ever had a ‘nucular’ weapons program,” Saddam said in a terse official statement. “Nor does it have any idea what a ‘nucular’ weapon is.”

At the White House, press secretary Ari Fleischer accused Saddam of using Mr. Bush’s pronunciation of “nucular” to distract attention from Iraq’s persistent refusal to disarm.

“I think the international community knows that when the President says ‘nucular’ he means ‘nuclear,’” Mr. Fleischer said. “We challenge Saddam to prove that he does not have any of the weapons that President Bush may have mispronounced last night.”

Mr. Bush’s State of the Union Address drew support from an unlikely quarter today, as Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter announced that he “completely agreed” with the President’s pronunciation of the word “nucular.”

“Back when I was President, I often gave speeches about nucular energy, and everybody always knew what I was talking about,” Mr. Carter said. “I think people should back off.”

In other international pronunciation news, Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain split with President Bush today over his pronunciation of the words tomato and banana.

While Mr. Blair indicated that he and Mr. Bush had “a serious difference of opinion” about how tomato and banana were pronounced, he said it would in no way affect Britain’s support of a U.S.-led attack on Iraq.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 01/30/2003 7:52:29 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Billthedrill; Cyber Liberty; dead; Victoria Delsoul; Fiddlstix; glock rocks; nunya bidness; ...
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2 posted on 01/30/2003 7:52:52 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Sir Gawain
Chuckle...

Bush's malapropisms are a subliminable strategery intended to make his opponents misunderestimate him.
3 posted on 01/30/2003 7:54:28 AM PST by Poohbah (Beware the fury of a patient man -- John Dryden)
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To: Sir Gawain
I hope he doesn't mind the strategery of us opening up a can of "Whup-Ass" as opposed to a can of "Whoop-Ass".
4 posted on 01/30/2003 7:55:12 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (© 2003, Raving Lunatic LLC)
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To: Poohbah
Where did "strategery" come from? I can't remember.
5 posted on 01/30/2003 7:55:50 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Cyber Liberty
Maybe Bush ought to use "atomic weapons" more often.
6 posted on 01/30/2003 7:57:37 AM PST by AmishDude
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To: Sir Gawain
The election campaign.
7 posted on 01/30/2003 7:59:57 AM PST by Poohbah (Beware the fury of a patient man -- John Dryden)
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To: Sir Gawain
Mr. Bush?s State of the Union Address drew support from an unlikely quarter today, as Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter announced that he ?completely agreed? with the President?s pronunciation of the word ?nucular.?

Just one more thing Carter is better at as an ex-president. Back in the seventies he used to say "Nukiear".

8 posted on 01/30/2003 8:18:26 AM PST by skeeter (threads killed while U wait)
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To: Sir Gawain
Saturday Night Live during the elections.
9 posted on 01/30/2003 9:04:14 AM PST by southerncookie
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To: Sir Gawain
Aw c'mon, did he say nucular? LOL.
10 posted on 01/30/2003 1:37:19 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
At least 5 times.
11 posted on 01/30/2003 1:44:04 PM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Sir Gawain
LOL!
12 posted on 01/30/2003 1:45:21 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
Yes, that is the ONLY way I have ever heard him pronounce the word... Makes me cringe whenever I hear it.
13 posted on 01/30/2003 1:45:58 PM PST by RoughDobermann
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To: RoughDobermann
Hmmm, I should pay more attention. :-)
14 posted on 01/30/2003 1:49:12 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: RoughDobermann
"Yes, that is the ONLY way I have ever heard him pronounce the word... Makes me cringe whenever I hear it."

Well, he's certainly not the only one to say it that way. We have had a NUMBER of leaders mispronounce the word. You can probably think of a few...

Michael

15 posted on 01/30/2003 1:50:13 PM PST by Wright is right!
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