Posted on 12/04/2002 5:47:12 AM PST by Lorenb420
Suffers family court's unfairness
Like the hundreds who called, she too had read the column bearing the headline "dads are dying" -- the story of a father who took his own life after the Family Responsibility Office garnished his entire paycheque over tardy child-support payments, leaving him without hope and only 43 cents to his name.
It struck a chord because it reminded her of her brother, and the state of his affairs today.
"I am not surprised about the number of men committing suicide over these situations," she said. "My brother has come pretty close to that brink."
If you travel the 401 regularly, you have no doubt become accustomed to seeing 18-wheelers pulled over to the side of the road as long-haul truckers grab some direly needed kip between klicks.
One of those truckers could well be this woman's brother, for not only does he sleep in his company's truck when he wearies, it is also where he lives.
His truck is now his full-time home.
"During his marriage, he refused to take long hauls so he could be home every night with his family," she said. "He had two small kids -- ages five and three -- when his marriage came crashing down.
"His wife wanted to be like her older sister -- divorced, receiving child-support payments and cheating welfare," she added, facetiously.
"Using her sister's lawyer, she stated in her divorce papers that my brother had abused his children. It was all lies, of course," she said. "But it ensured that he would never see his children again.
"Ten years later, he still doesn't know where his ex-wife is ... or his children."
COUP DE GRACE
While it would seem impossible that a judge would order her brother to pay child-support payments which totalled more than he earned, the number of calls received over the "dads dying" column is testimony to the fact it happens all too often.
In her brother's case, the judge told him to either get a better job or work longer hours.
And, when her brother protested, the judge delivered the coup de grace.
He had his wages garnisheed.
And, once the Family Responsibility Office (FRO) had that court document in hand, it showed no mercy.
With every dime her brother made still not being enough, it quickly depleted any assets he had, leaving him no option but to live in his truck.
And that's where he can still be found today, not willing to talk about his situation, but willing to let his sister do the talking for him.
"He's a totally lost soul," she said.
With income supply unable to meet the support-payment demand, he quickly found himself in arrears.
Now he was not only a father who had supposedly abused his children, he was also a deadbeat dad, two of the worst monikers imaginable.
Instead of understanding her brother's financial predicament, however, the FRO decided to play an even harder type of ball -- yanking his licence to drive a commercial vehicle and thereby ensuring the future would only get worse.
No licence, no job; no job, no money; no money, no support.
"Think of the mentality of them doing that," she said. "We almost lost my brother after that. My father managed to get him a job, temporarily. And he was also finally able to get a judge to lower his support payments to a more reasonable amount.
"But what a fight."
It took a year before her brother could get his driver's licence back, and his former employer -- one of the better-known trucking firms in this country -- took him back on their payroll in an instant.
NO QUESTIONS
What the sister has learned from this is not what might be considered politically correct, but it is the way she saw it nonetheless.
She saw, in her mind's eye, that a woman can say anything she wants in family court, and no one will ever question her story. She saw that no matter what was said or done, the divorced father is no more than pond scum in a judge's eyes. And she saw that "women can disappear off the face of the planet with the kids in tow, and the attitude of authorities is, 'Yeah, so. Just keep up those payments.'
"It is not a pretty picture," she said. "To live through it with my brother was a real eye-opener.
"For fathers like him, it's not only frustrating, it's utterly hopeless."
She saw, in her mind's eye, that a woman can say anything she wants in family court, and no one will ever question her story. She saw that no matter what was said or done, the divorced father is no more than pond scum in a judge's eyes. And she saw that "women can disappear off the face of the planet with the kids in tow, and the attitude of authorities is, 'Yeah, so. Just keep up those payments.
Everyone in America knows that this is the state of things, so I ask again, why on Earth would anyone ever risk going through this? Women are as plentiful as oxygen these days, so why risk your entire life to link up with one of them, and give her the option of destroying you should she ever get the whim to do so?
Are men just nuts?
Its not the women, its the state. Here is the problem. Many women are receiving state aid.
In order to qualify women are forced to get child support. The state will supply the attorneys and do whatever is necessary to prove paternity and get child support orders. The dad ordinarily cannot afford an attorney and unwittingly believes the process is fair.
Upon receipt of the court order, the state then does wage attachments.
Men who dont want children need to consider getting a vasectomy. It was the best decision that I ever made. I know that all women are not this way, but enough are to make it russian roulette to sleep with one of them without being protected.
Your neighbors son's life is RUINED, even if he could get a DNA test proving him not to be the father. The courts dont care, once his name is on a birth certificate.
No man should ever sleep with a woman on aid, or one who KNOWS any woman on aid, or with any single mother.
Again, not all women are bad, but enough are for men to need to be extremely selective these days.
He is now paying for a house he was only able to live in for a month, and a child that he never see's because when things got ugly, she accused him of abuse, though he has never laid a hand on her.
She moved another guy into the home last year who used to do odd gardening jobs in the neighborhood, who now eats the food from the money my buddy provides. She has not worked at all since the divorce, and my friends and I give our buddy cash on the side, just so he can live a decent life, since he has been forced by the courts to pay the mortgage and child support no matter what she does.
My friend has told me that he would rather see me dead than married, and I believe him. I will never, ever take that risk.
Just a couple of corrections:
First, that would be "Spin-toy"; as in "spinner", and 5 pounds, max.
If you are having trouble finding that "permanent love" you desire, you might start out by not calling people names that you dont know. I have no idea if you are plump, but if you are, that is nothing that closing your mouth wont fix.
If you have a problem with my gender, I hear Rosie O'Donnell is looking for a new squeeze to breed with?
Surely you can find love there?
A rat is a dog is a pig is a feminist (with profound apologies to rats, dogs and pigs...).
My friend, did you need the former when you had the latter?
One clip, one snip, no slip, safe drip, no lip.
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