Well, I will concede that blacks and whites using it today have a different meaning.
But believe me, I don't know your age or where you live, but in my younger years, it's use by whites was just as benign - it was no more than calling them blacks, and I have heard people use the word 'blacks' as a slur.
My husband, too, is part Indian. He takes people at face value until they prove differently, and he uses the word - certainly not as a slur. He is the only truly color-blind person I have ever known. It is just a word - just a word. Now some people have put conotations on it, but for some people it is just a word. I repeat, you teach tolerance by actions, not words. You can say all the right words and still be a horrible person, or you can use all the non-pc words and be a wonderful person. Oh, and he cusses too, even does my cussing when I need it. I'm not good at it. But he does not talk behind ones back, he would never say anything behind someone's back he would not say to their face. So racist? I would defy you to find any black person he has ever met that would describe him as one - just won't happen.
I also remember recently my husband and I were lost and saw a group of black teens outside a building. My husband stopped and said, "Hey, do any of you boys know where so and so is?" Of course, one of them decided to be really offended and asked my husband, "Who are you calling 'boy'." My husband said, "Well, you're not men are y ou?" They laughed and gave us directions. It's the person and what they feel - not what they say. We put too much emphasize on words and not on actions. Anyone can use the right words. Many of the people who would never use 'gulp' the 'n-word' really believe they totally superior to blacks.
As children, we were taught to call them colored - that was a very respectful thing then, now it is explosive.
I probably can't convince you of that ( and really it doesn't matter)
I still think it is ridiculous that the PC people have reduced us to speaking like a 3 year old - 'the N-word' - doesn't that bother you?
Oh and he smokes!!!!!! And tops off his gas tank.!!!!!