Judges' Thread

This thread exists to display top ten lists in the above-linked thread for the purpose of judging them, as explained in greater detail throughout that thread. (The time for new entrants has expired.)

Brian Allen, Post #2018:

The top ten reasons I am still a Happy FReeper:

10. It's almost 5:00PM Eastern and this spam post will stop consuming bandwith then;

9. Clive sends me the latest on Rhodesia/Zimbabwe every quarter hour or so;

8. I got to hit "Abuse" for the first time ever day before yesterday;

7. Where else in the world could a nice feller like me go to be mortally offended and deeply wounded on a regular basis by the insults of those who really like him?

6. I'd better hurry 'cause it's 5 to 5 and I type really slowly;

5. There is simply not another forum on Earth upon which so many like minds can come together in our endeavour to save Human Civilization -- Good -- FRom those tangible manifestations of the forces of Evil that would destroy it;

4. Noone else has offered me such a prize as that offered here for doing so little to please him -- um -- her; [?]

3. JohnHuang2, Pokey78, MeeknMing; SaberTooth et al send me stuff that makes me cry;

2. Some of the folks in [7] above have become closer FRiends to me and more valuable than my very own siblings and;

1. It's 5:00PM Eastern Time and I think I just made it?

Forgiven Sinner, Post #1508

TOP TEN REASONS WHY
I'm Still a Happy Freeper.

10. Ten Ann Coulter threads a day are not too much!

9. I love viewing FR through a spray of coffee on my screen.

8. I'm being paid to waste time at work!

7. I sing kareoke to Doug_From_Uplands songs at the neighborhood liberal bar.

6. I have a sinus infection and the regular irrigation I get from reading FR while drinking keeps it under control.

5. FR is James Bond and I'm his gal and in liberal bashing "Nobody Does It Better".

4. I love reading duplicate threads, just in case anyone posts an Ann Coulter or Anna Kornikova picture.

3. I get enough anti-global warming ammunition to leave my Green Peace friends gasping like whales impaled on a old growth redwood during a brush fire. The water for fire fighting is, of course, used to breed snail darters.

2. The day isn't really complete for me unless I've read 200-300 posts on predestination or Creation vs Evolution.

And the number one reason I'm still a happy Freeper:

1. Two words . . .

MARK STEYN

Vets_Husband_and_Wife, Post #1092

Top Ten reasons "I'm Still Posting in This Thread"

1) Because I can

2) Because I've laughed and it is fun

3) Because I'm bored (and obviously cannot win, as I'm not a good writer of humor, but again, its fun!)

4) Because it iritates certain people (My personal fav!! :o)

5) Because it is working better than ex-lax on those people I don't agree with (I loved the constipation poopy post.. can't remember the words, something about a person needing a colostomy or an enema.. but very funny!!)

5) Because I'm the FREEPARIAN IDOL, (not my suggestion, but another freepers earlier in this thread :o)

6) Because I found it less stressful to post humor than to be so dog gone serious every dog gone second

7) Because I dont' take life so serious as to LOSE sleep over things like this thread was about

8) Because I'm desperate and want the Lynn Cheney book

9) Because, even though I'm not a fan, I'd like to have an autographed Ann Coulter book saying "To my Friend MUDBOY SLIM" "LOVE ANN COULTER". ;o)

10)........ Because as the winner of this game, I can once again hold my head up high, endeavor to fulfill my dreams, and yes,.. BE PRESIDENT one day!!!

11) BECAUSE THERE IS A BIG AMOUNT OF MONEY TO THE TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD VOTE FOR ME TO WIN (I know, I'm being so Clintonesque!!)

*FOOTNOTE, with me you got more for your money.. I posted ELEVEN!!! Cheating is such a liberal concept, so as you can see, I have the ability to be Bi-partisan!!

dubyagee, Post # 1091

TOP 10 REASONS I'M STILL A HAPPY FREEPER...

10. The 'old timers' don't intimidate me anymore.

9. I learn more big words here than I do at Pogo playin' 'Word Whomp.'

8. It beats watchin' Rocky movies with my husband.

7. Sometimes I just wanna be where everybody knows my [screen] name.

6. I haven't yet developed 'unhappy freeper syndrome.'

5.I've learned so much that I feel cleaning dust bunnies is beneath me.

4. I have a mental 'ignore' button.

3. I know I'm right, I don't care what anybody else thinks.

2. I don't think Jimrob owes me anything.

and the number 1 reason I'm still a happy freeper is...

I could never hope to meet a more intelligent, eclectic, colorful group of people and with common sense to boot, than I've run across on FR!

Miss Marple, Post #1037

Top 10 Reasons Why I am still a Happy Freeper:

10. Since I cancelled the kids' Highlights suubscription years ago, this site is the closest thing I can find to "Goofus and Gallant."
9. Saves me money on newspaper and magazine subscriptions.
8. When asking myself if I am too sensitive, I can always remind myself that I am still here and haven't written an opus.
7. From time to time, I get excellent recipes and gardening tips, free of charge, from people who have become good friends.
6. Once you have been called a knee-pad wearing, statist, socialistic, empty-headed Bushbot, that guy who growls at you in traffic doesn't intimidate you anymore.
5. It's nice to know what will be on the radio talk shows 12-24 hours ahead of the programs.
4. No other group of people could have got me to stand in the rain in November on the steps of my state capitol, holding a sign and screaming "W-1!" at TV reporters.
3. Where else can I find people who know about Cthulu?
2. Everyone loves a mystery, and we always have plenty of sleuthing going on here.
AND THE NUMBER ONE ANSWER:
1. Where else can I find pictures such as these? They sure don't show up in my home town paper!!

Editor's Note: Mud -- Link Here for Photo that Accompanied this List / FreetheHostages

Indy Pendance, Post #1013

TOP TEN REASONS WHY
(2) I'm Still A Happy Freeper (Lurker)

10. The best place to get all the conservative news in one location.

9. Great commentary; I don't post because someone has already made my comment.

8. Liberals hate us, that accounts for something.

7. All Your Bases Are Belong To Us

6. We actually accomplish something, i.e. FReeps

5. Only on a conservative web site can I learn the wonders of thongs.

4. Møøse and Cheese are my friends.

3. You all understand Møøse and Cheese.

2. Let me jump in the shower and then I'll tell you my number one reason for being an avid Lurker.

Chad Fairbanks, Post #965

TOP TEN REASONS I LOVE FR

9. People pray for me sometimes (I need all the help I can get)

8. "Caption This" posts

7. Great people who can actually converse intelligently

6. Great people who can actually think for themselves

5. It cost less than a few newspaper subscriptions

4. and I don't have to recycle it...

3. Leftist Scum are in the minority

2. News Reports that don't get the major media's attention (or that they choose to ignore because it doesn't fit the agenda)

1. Organized Grassroots Activism

0. Bush Babes

One_particular_harbour, Post #954

TOP TEN REASONS I'M STILL POSTING ON THIS THREAD:

10. I'm avoiding going home, because I'm going to get chewed out for staying too late at the office.

9. I love the short, pointed, well reasoned and clear give and take with Askel5.

8. I enjoy running off FReeper donations.

7. If I'm going to go down in flames, I want the explosion seen by all.

6. I like beating up on middle aged people who have like to be anonymously mad about what is posted on an internet bulletin board, and sick and twisted enough to think it actually matters.

5. Two words - cheesy rant.

4. Springer doesn't come on till 11 PM.

3. The Anna Nicole Smith show doesn't come on till Sunday.

2. My kids are watching Disney Channel. I hate Disney Channel.

1. Crazed internet stalkers will post stuff about me, complete with name.......

Timesink, Post #887

TOP TEN REASONS WHY (2) I'm Still A Happy Freeper

10) The Free Republic MasterCard with a low 9.9% interest rate and 15% off all potassium iodide pills and Geiger counters

9) The chance to hang out with real Americans such as these.

8) The monthly fee I get from Jim Robinson to, ah, keep things right, shall we say, with the Bilderburgers.

7) The knowledge that FR has never been as good as it used to be since they day after it launched.

6) The secret Women With Guns porn forum.

5) The love, awe and wonder we all share of the greatest singer on the planet: Miss Barbra Streisand!

4) The Schadenfreude I feel when I beat someone else by five seconds in posting the latest Drudgeism, and then hitting "Report Abuse" on the slowpoke's thread.

3) That, as a CIA agent, I know every single one of your names, addresses, social security numbers, credit ... Oh, nothing to see here. Skip this one. Move along.

2) FR considers tinfoil one of the four major food groups.

And the number one reason why I'm still a happy freeper....*drum roll*

1) Cheese, glorious cheese!

Editor's Note: Mud, he had the text actually crossed out in entry 3. I'm just not clever enough to do it. Original has the same clickable links at entry 3 and can viewed at: Entry

dubyagee, Post #886

Once again...Why I'm still posting on this thread...

1. I'm hoping Mudboy Slim is NOT drunk, and is really giving away a signed copy of slander.
2. I like watching when good freepers go bad.
3. My tin-foil hat broke and I'm scared to move.
4. The issues being discussed are very series, indeed.
5. I figure if we waste enough bandwidth they'll lock it.
6. The crevo threads are over my head.
7. The MO/magic of the ATHEIST--EVO taliban... missing--Butchered dove(TRUTH/SCIENCE/CONSTITUTION)--- appearing rabbit(RATS)/...(courtesy f.christian)
8. Dysfunction can be a good thing.
9. It's the liberals that's our enemies.
And number 10 is....

Whoops! Hold on...gotta jump in the shower...I'll get back to ya!

ArneFufkin, Post #870

WHY I'M STILL HAPPILY ON THIS THREAD

1.) Beats cold calling at ten to five
2.) Shift change at "Ricks Cabaret" not till 7 pm
3.) If I go outside, government will have open shot at me
4.) Waiting for that Semi of Jethro Tull's Y2K Spaghettio overstock to arrive
5.) Victoria Delsoul and LurkerNoMore are around here somewhere
6.) Court ordered home arrest
7.) A+Bert won't stay away after promising to tell me all about Israel
8.) Deb's gonna "Bobbit" some troglodyte any minute now
9.) Clarity is going to present his "Twinkee Defense" as bold countermove to copyright infringement litigation
10.) I need to tell MUD that the Skins just really blow

Editor's Note: Mud, I'm a Redskins fan too. Hmm.

Physicist, Post #764

I am still posting in this thread because:

1. I wanted to be in on BADJOE's last thread before it got yanked.
2. I got nostalgic seeing the ***Ash Alert*** sign, and can't stay away.
3. Somebody had to stay to bring up "pool poopy".
4. If BADJOE blurts out the names of the "Gestapo Twins", I have a remote chance of being able to read it in the microsecond before it's yanked.
5. I want to see whether OPH or Askel5 will get the other's goat first.
6. I want to be the one to push the abuse button when medved pastes in a long essay about the Earth orbiting Saturn.
7. One of the signs of the Apocalypse will be when Jim Robinson lets Eschoir back; this is just the sort of thread where it will happen.
8. I'm hoping Tabitha Soren will show up to divert the discussion into a less divisive channel.
9. MurrayMom isn't here.
10. Whoever has made the most posts when FR goes down WINS.

dubyagee, Post #762

Reasons I'm still posting...

10.I like Mudboy Slim
9.I really like mudboy slim
8.mudboy slim is my favorite freeper
7.mudboy slim always posts wisely
6.mudboy slim is a trusted friend and advisor
5.mudboy slim is generous
4.mudboy slim should run for president.
4.mudboy slim would have my vote
3.I really, really like mudboy slim
2.Did I already say mudboy slim is my favorite freeper?
and reason # 1...I'm hoping you'll let mudboy slim judge this contest... ; * )

[Editors note: added in small text:] I got 'em in the right order that time...

paulklenk, Post #752

I'm Still Posting in This Thread

10. I love yelling "RAT S**T!" on the Internet.
9. Although it's less exciting than picking my nose, there's still nothing else to do while I'm waiting for more boogers to accumulate.
8. If someone is desperate enough to post to this thread, they may actually read this list.
7. I can't leave work but am too tired to get anything else done.
6. It gives me a chance to spread rumors about BADJOE's flaming homosexual lifestyle.
5. I'm bored looking at pictures from last year's NYC Village Halloween Parade.
4. It's an opportunity to make one more enemy at Free Republic.
3. The GOP is paying me to do it (they will deny this, by the way).
2. If it entertains JimRob, my day hasn't been wasted.
1. Gives me an excuse to post my poem, "Plastic Pie":

Plastic pie, plastic pie,
Shot a spastic in the eye.
Jesus heal'd that spastic's eye!
Pretty, pretty plastic pie.

Still being,

[Editor's note: his name then appears at the bottom as having posted.]

Dianna, Post#738

Ok the Top Ten Reasons I'm still posting on this thread..

10. No one has yet mentioned how vey series this is.
9. I can't get enough of Blues Duke's wacky pack pictures.
8. I've never seen Ash post and would hate to miss it if he shows up.
7. I can't leave until there is bloodshed.
6.Maybe someone REALLY clever will contribute to your contest.
5. Perhaps Jim Rob will show up and kick us all out of his house and I couldn't bear to miss the end of FR.
4. I exist only on the fringes here and am dying to be a part of the "big stuff".
3. I'm hoping that BADJOE will come back and change his name to GOODJOE.
2. Doug from Upland hasn't memorialized this in song yet.

And the number one reason I'm still posting here is....I still haven't found out what happened to the brown dog with the girlfriend in the car of the guy with all the guns.

Jake0001, Post#736

Top 10 reasons why I'm still posting this thread.

10.It beats working
9. Noone in creation could read the entire thread anyway.
8. Actually its the first time I posted in this thread.
7. Its more light-hearted than actual events.
6. Its good to post something that might get a reply.
5. Its better to post something for a prize.
4. Wasn't this thread to be killed?
3. I'm new here and too ignorant to know when to shut up.
2. Method of payment for bribery - Do you take Diner's Club?
1. Who's LYNN CHENEY?

BluesDuke, Post#724

TOP TEN REASONS WHY (and here you have an option of themes) (1) I'm Still Posting in This Thread...

ok, for what it's worth...

10) I'd like to see it make 1,000 posts before six PDT.
9) I'd like to have a lot of last-minute fun before the real flood of deadly serious 9/11 anniversary threads surges.
8) I'd like to see it make 5,000 posts before midnight.
7) I want to see who's going to start the next flame war within the thread.
6) I'd like to see it make 10,000 posts before six tomorrow morning.
5) I'm waiting to see whether the next flame war on the thread moves from flame war to nuclear meltdown before the Robinsons get wise.
4) I'd like to see it make 100,000 posts before the New York Mets lose a home game again. (Yeah! - like that's gonna happen!)
3) It's Friday, and we're supposed to be wasting our time having fun.
2) The Oakland Athletics haven't started winning their 21st game in a row.

And, the number one reason why I'm still posting on this thread...

1) You mean I need a reason? Well, I tried... ;)

JulieRNR21, Post #680

I am a Happy Freeper because....

10. Just knowing there is a place like FR makes me smile..

9. I learn more truth on this Forum in 5 minutes than an hour spent reading the lefty press...

8. The people who post here are sometimes smart; often sassy and always opine....

7. I like the lyrics doug from upland writes to his song parodies...

6. FR is the only place I can reveal without shame that I spit at the TV everytime I see x42...

5. I like Daily Dose of Dubya thread because I can see pictures of GWB with real Americans that my liberal newspaper won't print....

4. I like the FR Finest thread where I can meet & learn about other Freepers...

3. Thanks to FR I learned HTML from another Freeper and I enjoy posting graphics like this...

2. I'm glad that I have place on the WWW where I can find for news, help, advice, prayers, humor, information, ideas, and friendship....

And the #1 reason I'm a Happy Freeper is......

1. I love to FREEP.....in a protest, via email, letters, or polls!

Mud, you *must* link to the hyperlink to see all the bouncing yellow graphics: this post is incomplete without viewing original entry here: Entry

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