Lumberjacks urged to discover sensitive side

The Times (UK) | 12/17/1999 | Ben MacIntyre

[dighton]

IF YOU'RE a lumberjack and you're not OK, then you need to get in touch with your inner soul, according to a new management philosophy in the US timber industry. It is bringing touchy-feely self-analysis to the burly world of the American woodsman.

Disagreements between lumberjacks have traditionally been settled with a lump of two-by-four and some choice epithets, but at the Louisiana-Pacific timber mill in Houlton, Maine, management has begun an "enriched business environment programme" to encourage timber workers to "take responsibility for their feelings" rather than beat each other to pulp.

"What we're doing is freeing up the human spirit," Mark Suwyn, chief executive of Louisiana-Pacific, the biggest producer of plywood substitutes, said. "If you give workers the chance to talk about their vulnerabilities, you're in a better position."

Under the Rapid Change Technologies philosophy, employees are encouraged to foster "team-building skills" and "emotional intelligence", and to practise the "two-for-one rule of criticism", in which an admonition is accompanied by two words of praise. Shouting is out; hugging is in.

In the past, as memorably lampooned in Monty Python, lumberjacks were a byword for hirsute machismo, expected simply "to sleep at night and work all day". Some American timber workers have found the transition to a more sensitive "caring-and-sharing" culture rather a shock.

When Gerry Nason, the Houlton plant manager and an army veteran, was told that the mill was being "socially engineered" to encourage greater sensitivity and dialogue among staff and management, he concluded: "The bosses have totally lost it."

Until now, Mr Nason said, his management technique to encourage productivity had been based on screaming.

The old days when lumberjacks were expected to be rough, tough and primitive were "reptilian", according to the jargon of the new approach. It encourages the beefy, tartan-shirted workers to get in touch with their "nurturing, mammalian brains". Monty Python revealed the rich and complex interior life of the American lumberjack; now, at long last, he is free to express it in the workplace.

[aomagrat]

Foolish Humans!
Your sensitive lumberjacks are no match for our compassionate asteriod miners. You are Doomed!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[nomad]

What, no scones, and what about the tea?

[nomad]

Lumberjacks, don`t they chop down trees with Herrings?

[dighton]

There will be a quiz on Monday.

[meenie]

I feel so much better since I have gotten in touch with my sensibilities. Now the world seems so much easier since I stopped cussing those worthless bastards in Congress. Now all I want do is rush up to them and get a good choke hold and never, ever let go.

A huggy, kissy, Freeper that is thoroughly disgusted with sensitivity, political correctness, and the morons that advocate such garbage.

[nomad]

It goes, "...I like to press wildflowers, I put on women`s clothing and hang around in bars."

[Pertinaxmnw1]

Mony Python has the perfect response to this bs.

By the year 2050 men will be castrated at birth...

Taken from: http://www.wilken.freeserve.co.uk/Montypython/Songs/song40.htm

BARBER:

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.

I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.

I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'

And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.

He goes to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'

And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing

And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie,

Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking]

What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!

And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

[singing]

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

[petuniasevan]

At first I thought this article was from The Onion!

[dts32041]

3 posts to get to the lumberjack song.

my fellow freepers are getting slow.

[nofriendofbills]

Dear Sir;
I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the article you have just posted about the "insensitive" lumberjacks. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are reptilian.
Yours faithfully
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)
PS I have never kissed the web master of FreeRepublic.

[Britton J Wingfield]

Ping. Now you'll really be OK.

[theDentist]

Let me show YOU my sensitive side!

[JoeSixPack1]

It should take about 6 months for the first chainsaw massacre. Guys like to fight, that's the real world.

[Madame Dufarge]

The old days when lumberjacks were expected to be rough, tough and primitive were "reptilian", according to the jargon of the new approach.

I challenge management to go into a bar in Houlton, Maine on a Friday night and call the patrons "reptilian" to their faces.

I'm repelled by the snottization of America, where working with your hands for a living is now equated with being one step up on the evolutional ladder from being a monkey.

Try breaking down on the side of the road and see who stops to help you - the Volvo driving a**hole with the cell phone surgically attached to his ear, or the lumberjack, covered with grime from working hard all day, in his pickup truck

[Joe 6-pack]

"...at the Louisiana-Pacific timber mill in Houlton, Maine..."

They may be sensitive, but their geography sucks...

[exit82]

Looks like the management has been sniffing the plywood glue again.

[buccaneer81]

Holy cow! I grew up ten miles from Houlton. I had no idea. We just went to Houlton to score beer, go to the drive-in, and eat at Pizza Hut. My, how times change.