Of course there is a huge component of “blame the parent” here on FR.
Please, you judgmental people who don’t have a child with special needs, what should parents who do have one do? Never go in public or into restaurants?
I’ve been there for many, many years. I consider myself a very considerate person in public. At the beginning, when the first one with special needs was little, I didn’t think we couldn’t go to restaurants with people. So we would, and often my son would get overwhelmed, yes, even noisy, and I just stepped him right out. You pristine silent diners would have heard an earful as I carried him out, but then I would stay in the parking lot and wait out the rest of the party.
The next phase was just not to go out. We did that for years as well, or waited for the respite care babysitter so that we could get out without the kids.
Later I had another child with special needs. At this point I do feel that we have rights to be out there in the world just like anyone else. But yes, whether it’s just a child being loud or a child with special needs not in control, we leave ASAP. It’s not easy, but I consider it a sign of respect for the others in the public place.
Dealing with special needs is difficult. We could have a meal no different from anyone else’s and no one would know anything. Or someone could melt down and we could need to beat a hasty exit where other people might be aware.
The restaurant definitely has the right to ask anyone making a disturbance to quiet down or leave. I’m ok with that. But I just don’t like how easily some of you can sit in your boxers and castigate if you have never attempted to live a normal family life with kids with special needs.
People with normal kids have opinions too.
At the beginning, when the first one with special needs was little
You should have controlled the kid or kept him home.
I had another child with special needs.
I'm seeing a trend.
you have never attempted to live a normal family life with kids with special needs.
Most people have normal kids.
Then go to a restaurant that caters to loud kids. They do exist. Just like restaurants that cater to loud adults. I don’t think anyone is saying to stay out of society. I don’t eat at McDonald’s or Cuck E Cheese and expect quiet conversations. Neither should my grandma eat at Hooters or Dick’s Last Resort and expect a wine Seward or Bucelli playing softly.
Amen!
For all the complainers on this thread....
IF your children are healthy, give thanks to God.
Families who have chosen not to murder (abort) their child with unique challenges should be the very ones us conservatives are championing.
IF you're complaining you're arguing like the Left does.
God bless you, Yaelle for the care and consideration you have shown-my 1st job after college was as a case worker for mentally retarded adults-my clients were all medium-to-high functioning and many had Down Syndrome-they were some of the nicest and most decent people I’ve known. Myself and my co-workers often brought clients from their apartments to spend holidays at our homes with our families because their own families could not be bothered with their less-than-perfect relatives and didn’t want to be seen with them. I worked there at MHMR for almost 8 years until going to work in the private sector as a case manager-and I still consider that 1st job at MHMR my favorite...
That experience is likely why it annoys me to hear someone call a person they disagree with “retard”, “retarded” etc-mental retardation is a disability-it is neither a chosen behavior, nor are retarded people circus freaks-it does not speak well of us here at FR to use retard, etc as a slur-you are disparaging people with that disability by using that as an insult-no better than the “N” word, in my opinion...