Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Dorothy Parker! My Drunken Spirit Animal! :)
‘I like to have a Martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.’