I tend to agree to some parts of this. It may be that the wife concealed parts of this from him, and he didn’t grasp the full extent of what was going on from her direction. If they had a joint account, he would have seen the money coming in and asked questions. If the money went to strictly an account on her side, no....he would not have seen it.
Come on - one spouse not even knowing where the other worked? I’ve had jobs where I couldn’t talk about what I was doing, but my wife always knew who was going to be writing the paycheck.
Yes, a spouse can get a bit touchy about “I need a list of all of your investments” but it comes with the territory.