The ability to have a conversation with a stranger is critical to being civilized. Among strangers the first message is, I am not going to hurt you. I am friendly. Among salesmen having a conversation is a critical life skill. If you are looking for someone to spend time with you can generally conduct a chemistry test with a few pleasant words.
I am 63. One thing I have noticed about younger people is they don’t know how to have a conversation. They aren’t necessarily unpleasant. They just don’t know what social lubrication or pleasantness is; let alone how to do it.
About the time I entered school they stopped teaching what they called “deportment.” In deportment they actually taught people how to have a conversation, set a table, welcome a guest, etc. I picked up much of it from my family. But four generations have now gone without basic socialization. Instead we are taught we are racists, bigots and the wrong sex.
Some of the companies I worked for began to realize how bad the employees were regarding communications and socialization. General Dynamics had to send one CEO to charm school so he could have dinner with political figures. He had risen up through the ranks. I heard him speak once and was appalled by what he said and how bluntly he put it. This was after charm school; so the younger the better.
My teenagers are aghast when their father and I make conversation with strangers at the gym. Someone makes eye contact as he wipes his brow, and I’ll say, “Warmer than usual in here ...,” and the next thing, you’re talking about his exercise program or the fact that the a/c is off at his house and his HVAC contractor is so-and-so, and darn, I know him, he goes to my church ...,” and the teens look at you like you’ve suddenly levitated or grown a second head.
My 23-year-old son says that younger people “can’t” do this sort of thing because they interpret even the blandest statement, like, “That machine has been broken all week,” as a sexual advance.
“The ability to have a conversation with a stranger is critical to being civilized.”
Someone said probably ten years ago that generations have information at their fingertips, yet, they know nothing.