My husband and my best friend are masters of this art. Put them next to someone in a line or a public venue and within minutes, they’re chatting away and by the end, they have the person smiling. Later encounters will see the person acknowledging them as a *friend*.
I’m horrid at chit chat. I avoid it. Thing is, my girlfriend, who, as said, is talented at it, actually despises what she calls “meaningless conversations.” It’s just that she is a natural at it. She leaves parties early to avoid all this. I have to be dragged, literally kicking and screaming. It may be why we’re friends.
OTOH, I love deep conversations about ‘Life, The Universe and Everything’. I sometimes find younger people in their 40’s who are hungry for this. They will seek out us elders and ask questions about what life was like in the past, who do we think was the greatest POTUS,what do we think about the state of the world, et al. These are not high achievers, but farmers, truckers and housewives, people who have time to ponder such things while doing hard work. I get the feeling they are starving for intellectual stimulation.
My parents modeled small talk - all 7 of us could carry on a conversation - and not shy from it. It is an art that is going by the wayside - and our country is suffering for it. I try to comment on the skill when I see it in teenagers at church - letting them know that they have a lifetime skill that WILL do them well.