Except for showing the video to others, this was not a situation for the school to deal with.
For sharing the video, he should have been expelled.
For having the video on his phone, he should have been prosecuted.
He never told her he taped it.Sharing the video is where both the charges are.He lied to her and then betrayed her.
I would have no problem with the school handling the school rules violations and yes if it happened as reported he should have been suspended. I also think a parent should have been present for the discussion in any event.
A school official has no power to prosecute criminal actions and no threats about that should have been made by the school officials. If the school has a real police department or their officers are part of the local LEO I would still not agree with the criminal aspect being dealt with without parents presence.
If the school has actual LEO officers then why was the student not arrested? I bet they are more on the order of glorified security and were over reaching. In many of these issues the school tries to handle all of it in house and gets in over their head. They usually talk tough and then end up doing nothing. If that had happened the girl would have been sent a horrible message that she did not matter. The fact that they did not have the boy arrested leads me to wonder if they intended to actually sweep it all under the rug.
I wish schools would focus on education, allow parents to parent, and LEO to handle criminal issues. I think that would work better in most cases.
Schools now think they have or should replace parents. I know there are terrible parents out there but schools have proven they are lousy at parenting as well so that is not the solution.