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Florida shoplifting suspect impales self on stolen knife, police say
12news ^
| 5-7-17
| unattributed
Posted on 05/07/2017 5:51:44 PM PDT by smokingfrog
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Probably too old for a Darwin Award...
To: smokingfrog
2
posted on
05/07/2017 5:53:42 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
To: smokingfrog
Irony can really be ironic sometimes.
3
posted on
05/07/2017 5:53:57 PM PDT
by
DesertRhino
(Dog is man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up.)
To: smokingfrog
That’s one of the ones they will tell you are “too common” to be cosidered.
Guy probably got written up for running with scissors when he was in elementary school.
To: smokingfrog
not too old for a Curad tho.
Big Dummy,, didn’t his Mom ever tell him not to run with sharp objects in his hands?
5
posted on
05/07/2017 5:54:18 PM PDT
by
NormsRevenge
(Semper Fi - Monthly Donors Rock!!!)
To: smokingfrog
Thank God he didn’t steal scissors...
6
posted on
05/07/2017 5:54:52 PM PDT
by
bigmak007
(They who can't control their own passions, want to passionately control others.)
To: smokingfrog
7
posted on
05/07/2017 5:55:11 PM PDT
by
equaviator
(There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
To: smokingfrog
8
posted on
05/07/2017 5:56:44 PM PDT
by
metmom
( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
To: smokingfrog
9
posted on
05/07/2017 5:57:12 PM PDT
by
madrastex
To: smokingfrog
10
posted on
05/07/2017 5:57:18 PM PDT
by
rrrod
(just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.l)
To: DesertRhino
“Irony can really be ironic sometimes.”
zzZZING!
11
posted on
05/07/2017 5:57:18 PM PDT
by
equaviator
(There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
To: smokingfrog
Word somehow impaled himself on the knife.
It sucked to be him.
12
posted on
05/07/2017 5:58:13 PM PDT
by
dp0622
(The only thing an upper crust Conservative hates more than a liberal is a middle class conservative)
To: smokingfrog
The media couldn't get out the description 'WHITE male subject' out fast enough, could they? If it would have been anyone else, they'd have left the perp's race out completely, and buried the name Manuel or Abdullah or Te'Rell in the bottom of the report.
13
posted on
05/07/2017 5:59:23 PM PDT
by
Viking2002
("If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck." - John Steinbeck)
To: smokingfrog
Is that the last word on Word, or are we just taking the officers’ word for it?
14
posted on
05/07/2017 6:03:03 PM PDT
by
Windflier
(Pitchforks and torches ripen on the vine. Left too long, they become black rifles.)
To: smokingfrog
How soon can Lowe’s get their knife back?
The manager wants to mount it on a piece of oak and hang it up for display, with a little inscription at the bottom.
To: smokingfrog
Quick. Call an ambulance chaser. We’ve got a deep pocket.
16
posted on
05/07/2017 6:03:33 PM PDT
by
PAR35
To: smokingfrog
Mom always said "Don't run with scissors!"
17
posted on
05/07/2017 6:03:50 PM PDT
by
Governor Dinwiddie
(How many does it take? It takes two. One to eat the possum, the other to direct traffic.)
To: smokingfrog
But they can still play “Instant Karma’s Going to get You” at his funeral.
To: smokingfrog
Reminds me of a photo I saw years ago of a guy in Atlanta who was running from the cops (drugs,IIRC),tried to jump down onto another patch of pavement and wound up landing on one of those old fashioned iron fences (the ones with the "spikes" sticking up).Turns out he landed in such a way that the fence beheaded him and his head remained fixed to the spikes.
I tried to verify the story and,sure enough,there was a story about him in a Georgia (Atlanta,IIRC) paper.
To: smokingfrog
Was there no warning label?
20
posted on
05/07/2017 6:07:39 PM PDT
by
Huskrrrr
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