(Please note - if you ever get into this prayer line, it is much better for olfactory reasons to move to the front row of this large prayer assembly, and not be in the last row, like the unfortunate person who took this photo.)
Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening's prime time address include: California will now be able to act as a sanctuary state within MexiCal noting that there is much more room for the refugees who will find the climate in the State of California more desirable than the climate in US cities such as NYC, Detroit or Chicago.
The elimination of the existing border between Mexico and California will allow drugs to flow more freely between Mexico and the users in Hollywood. Drug tunnel diggers at the Tijuana border will now be able to use their skills to dig tunnels under Los Angeles to help ease congestion in that city and allow rioters to move about the city's universities more freely
The U.S. taxpayer will no longer be on the hook for any future disaster relief required once the next megaquake hits California.
The space in the Capitol and other DC buildings vacated by representatives of California will be fumigated and turned into "time-out rooms" for the press as well as Liberty Centers where US citizens can meet with their congressmen to discuss the pursuit of economic freedom.
Nancy Pelosi released a statement stating that she looks forward to making the Mexican President's life miserable and prefers the year round weather in Mexico City to that of DC. Her office has already announced a schedule of fund raising activities for what is believed to be an upcoming campaign to run for President of MexiCal.
Papers released along with Trump's statement reveal that a newly incorporated real estate company, pmurT, Inc., which was intimately involved in the deal discussions, will receive a broker fee of $25 billion on the California sale. An anonymous pmurT, Inc. representative has revealed that the profits on the deal are HUGE and will be used to purchase, develop and convert all abandoned US Federal facilities in California into special high end retreats and resorts which will assist California residents with managing their euphoria and transition into the nanny state they have so long desired to be.
The exact northern border of the new MexiCal is still under negotiation. Apparently the White House is concerned that certain members of congress may be unwilling to give up California's wine country and are suggesting that the northern boarder align with the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.
California residents will be issued special blue cards to cross the border into the US so that the total number of California liberals entering the US can be tracked and at any point in time not exceed predetermined levels. Residents that remain in California after the effective date of the sale will not be allowed to seek refugee status in the US in the future.
Mexican President Nieto stated he is thrilled with the deal and is looking forward to declaring Spanish the national language for his newly acquired territory and opening SSL (Spanish as a second language) schools throughout California. He also noted that funding for the transaction would come from the Mexican drug cartels, which have agreed to provide low interest loans to Mexico so long as they are allowed to move their cash out of Switzerland and the Cayman Islands back into Mexico tax free. He also said he considers the fact that a Disney park will now be located within his country an added bonus.
White House representatives refused to confirm rumors that a similar deal was in the works for the sale of Northeastern states from NY through Maine, to Canada.
President Trump wrapped up his statement stating, "this deal is HUGE and while territorially, the U.S. will be smaller, it will help Make America Great Again".
Without any downtime, mind you. Us FR addicts need our daily FR fix...
the sale is retroactive back to 11/01/2016.
Pres. Trump has now officially won the popular vote.
I don’t think Mexico would pay that much just to repatriate so many of their runaway criminal citizenry.
does this mean my FR monthly will be going top an “offshore” account?
And how soon can this ACTUALLY take place?!?!?
You are genuinely gifted. Please keep creating stuff of this quality!
How much did Trump pay them to take it?
should turn a good profit as they paid the Calif. Natives 25 cents an acre for it back in the early 50s. How much is he going to sell it for now? ( I’m making appoint, I know this is satire but my portion is a reality. I got my share back then , I think it was around 300 dollars for my share of the state.
Most of you have no idea that this actually happened . yes it did.
(Please note - if you ever get into this prayer line, it is much better for olfactory reasons to move to the front row of this large prayer assembly, and not be in the last row, like the unfortunate person who took this photo.)
Too late. Dimwitted George Bush the Younger sold California to Mexico years ago.