Maybe it's me or may be the whole thing could have been written better, but I find it confusing.
When they start talking about "identifying", "physical sex not mattering" and being "as natural as possible", I get lost.
Back to my fail safe line.
Program! Program! You can't tell who the players are without a program...
You are right, what “natural” is possible when the obvious girl beside you “identifies” as a boy?