I think it really is because those who grew up in a functional family simply have no frame of reference. Dysfunctional families put so much effort into hiding their dysfunction, we’re like a secret society or an alien species. We simply live in a different version of reality. I get that a lot when I show my reluctance to deal with my mother, she’s not full fledged toxic, but her brand of insanity is very aggravating, I get to hear all the ways she’s self sabotaged lately knowing the only thing I can do about it is not get sucked into that vortex. And then those weekend plan discussions come up with friends or co-workers and I’m all “yeah I gotta go do stuff with mom this weekend” and you can immediately spot the functional and dysfunctional backgrounds in the audience, there’s the confused “but she’s your mother” looks, and the understanding “good luck” looks. And I just can’t explain it to the confused section, “but she’s your mother” is so sacrosanct to them that they can’t see that she also spend 2 decades sabotaging my life and I’ve had to completely retrain my thinking to avoid the bad habits she instilled and in many ways being with her is like an alcoholic visiting a beer festival.
Oh well, they’re lucky to not get it. I sure wouldn’t mind being that kind of ignorant.
Exactly.