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Along these lines,...

The officer is so focused on the possible threat, that she can't hear anything else. You are stating that the perp is so focused on the threat to him, he can't listen. These are not along the same lines. They are diametrically opposed..

...maybe cops should be trained that citizens might not hear or process commands being barked at them because they are under stress from cops pointing weapons at them,...

If an officer had a gun in her hands, you wouldn't be able to listen to her? Really?

If an officer had a gun in her hands, it would signify to me that she thought she needed it for some reason. I would do everything in my power to signal to her that she didn't need it.

I would listen to every command she said, sang, sign languaged, inferred, or barked. I would do exactly what she stated. Further, I would verbally tell her in a short sentence that I intended to comply and meant her no harm whatsoever.

I would never turn my back on her, do something other than what she barked (if you will). Any move other than what she requested, would raise her level of unease. That IS NOT how you defuse a situation. Get through the event. Afterwards you can file a complaint..

...so they should stop escalating traffic stops into deadly situations.

Officers don't generally get out of their vehicle, pull their weapons, and brandish at members of the public without cause. Something made this woman pull her weapon. That something was the escalation. The officer pulling her weapon to fight off a potential threat was not the escalation. It was a response to it.

The man then turned and walked toward his vehicle. That WAS NOT compliance. It was a further exacerbation of the tense situation.

If he had complied with her barked (or otherwise) commands, he's be alive right now..

That makes no sense to me. Why would a armed cop with at least 2 other cops backing her up, probably wearing a vest, facing an unarmed person, trained for and accustomed to confrontation, be under more stress than the unarmed citizen. I agree you need to listen to cops or clearly they will kill you, but the point was if stress is an excuse for not hearing, cops should assess the situation and not assume their commands were heard.