Jump-Kicking Kangaroo Ruptures Woman’s Breast Implants

Big Government (Breitbart) ^ | May 31, 2016 | Warner Todd Huston

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

A woman who was cycling in Australia reported to authorities she was attacked by a kangaroo with a jump-kick that hit her so hard it burst her breast implants.

Sharon Heinrich said that she and a friend were biking along a public trail in Clare Valley in South Australia when the kangaroo began to chase them.

The 45-year-old cyclist said as the two began to ride past the beast, it gave chase then leapt at them first using its powerful legs to slam into her and then springing off to hit her companion, Helen Salter, 47.

Both were knocked off their bikes and seriously injured.

“I’ve gone to ride past, I thought: ‘He’s cute,’ and he’s just jumped me and taken out the side of me,” Heinrich said of the attack. “As I’m falling, I felt him push off me and then he’s flown to Helen and taken her out.”

“We flew probably one-and-a-half meters after he hit us,” she added.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

It sounds like her airbags deployed when she hit the kangaroo...

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Kangaroo takes out boobies!

DANG!

[To Hell With Poverty]

Here’s a juicy one for ya.

[lee martell]

Her cups runneth over!

[ameribbean expat]

I have an acquaintance, she works in IT in Denver. Has implants. Goes on a work related “team building” exercise to a paintball place. Takes a round to the implant. It deflates...

[roadcat]

It sounds like her airbags deployed when she hit the kangaroo...

LOL! Airbags! Bumpers save lives, so do airbags!

[IronJack]

Well, ain’t that a kick in the ...

[gigster]

Someone needs to tie that Kangaroo down.

[G Larry]

So, we’ve determined who has more bounce to the ounce.

[dragnet2]

They should stop using their bikes and boobs as weapons against these poor kangaroos. Ban bikes where Kangaroo live and play. These people are probably Kangaroo haters.

[KarlInOhio]

She should consider herself lucky that she didn't cross one of the 35,000 Australian species that can kill you just by looking at you.

[Rome2000]

Kangaroos hate breast implants too?

[BenLurkin]

So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that’s it hanging on the shed.

[AF_Blue]

The legendary “Chuck Norris” kangaroo? I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never known of anyone who has survived an encounter with one.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

You asked for this

[xp38]

Cycling is dangerous

[Future Useless Eater]

How about thanking those fun-bags for saving her life? A kangaroo kick to the chest powerful enough to burst those could have collapsed a lung or stopped her heart.

[tumblindice]

A woman with large, fake hooters sits down in a dark Sydney movie theater and after her eyes adjust, suspects a kangaroo is sitting in the next seat.

She fearfully asks, “Are you a ‘roo?”

The kangaroo replies, “Yes, I am.”

“What are you doing in a movie theater?”

“Well, I liked the book.”

[Kellis91789]

Are roos good eats ? Seems like there is an over abundance of ‘em.