Posted on 01/08/2016 2:32:01 PM PST by dware
You will not be a Texan, you will be a goat roper.
We won’t even let you in the state until after you feed that yap dog you carry in that big purse to the coyotes.
After 10 years of goat roping on foot we might allow you to ride a mule when you rope your goats.
You will not wear an official Texas cowboy hat. If you want to wear a cowboy hat it will be a cowboy hat designed by a New York prairie fairy so we can all laugh at you.
As far as wearing boots, we don’t care if you wear boots you just can’t wear real leather boots like Texans wear.
You can wear your boots made from “prairie fairy” fake leather.
After 10 years of goat roping on foot and another 10 years roping goats from the back of a mule with your fake cowboy hat and fake boots, we might consider teaching you the correct way to say Y’all and if your lucky we might just throw in the correct way to say over yonder.
But don’t ask us for an oil well cause you ain’t gunna get it.
What if I start calling myself “Tex”? Will that expedite the process?
Nope. It’s still goat roper.
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