Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but actually I use one of those black magic eight balls from the 60's with liquid inside that I picked up at a yard sale in the early 80's. You ask it questions and shake it and an answer floats to the little viewing window.
For example, I asked it just a couple of minutes ago if I should reply to stupid posts on this article and the answer was "probably not a good idea."
Guess I should have listened, eh?
Hey, the crap is in your article,
not my pointing it out.
A Magic 8-Ball is better than Russian state-owned media, so there’s that . . . .