You are very right on all of what you said. I need to find a gun that my small, weak hands can operate and get my concealed carry. I’ve been thinking it for a long time now, but I need to just do it.
You want a revolver so you won't have the rack the slide, probably a lightweight .38 special with a standard load. Have a custom spring installed to make the trigger pull lighter.
If that is too much to handle, perhaps a .22 magnum would do.
Smith and Wesson J-frame. Light weight, one handed operation, very safe to carry, always ready. Just point and pull the trigger. As an older person myself I give it an “A” rating.
Check out the Ruger LCR. It has a nice trigger pull, and it’s very lightweight.