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Okay, Mr. Abood. You are a man of color, which is important to us. You speak Arabic, albeit poorly, which is a major plus, and you are, of course, Moslem, which helps us with our funding issues. One last question, if you would. Are you or have you ever been

Enough questions, infidel. Give me job or I report you.

Ha ha! That is very funny. No, serious-

Fool monkey I am as serious as Mohammed gleefully raping a preteen. Shut up. I want my money.

Very well my friend! But there are a few remaining-

Clearances. I want clearances like the homosexual man-girl person that sold out America.

Chelsea?

Silence bitch. Give me money and clearances.

Very well! Very well. You are so forceful! I know you will be so good for what America has become. Will you defend us and-

Silence, bitch.

Mr. Abood will not be arrested.

It is extremely difficult for Federal Corrections facilities to permit conjugal visits by goats and camels at this time. Therefore to incarcerate Muslim terrorists would deprive them of prisoner's rights and could be conscrued by the SCOTUS to be 'cruel and unusual punishment.'

Earlier today, our leader, Barack Hussein Obama, Jr., issued residence permits to Mr. Abood's family. When he pulled out of Iraq, he was forced to leave his brothers behind. They will join the President, Mr. Abood, and Pentagon officials for a medal ceremony in the Rose Garden, Alhumdoolillah!