There were years I made more $$ then my husband. So what?
There are times I make the “final decision”. So what?
He enjoys doing everything with the kids I do and when we decided I would stop working I picked up the slack at home. But we decided together.
Why did we get married? Because even though we could act as crazy as our peers deep down we were both traditional people at heart who believed that traditional family units acted as role models for the two children we later had and was the best way to have a nice home life with mutual respect for one another. We loved each other and wanted to share our lives as a married couple legally and in the eyes of our church. Am I the perfect little home maker? Nope! Am I just as strong willed at times as my husband can be? Yup. And because of it I don't think my girls will go out and let a man walk all over them. And they'll want a commitment, sealed in marriage before they commit their entire life to a man or have children. They will be less likely to become dependent on the system. They are already forming a more traditional, conservative world view as teenagers.
I'm not saying it's right to stay with some one if its not working. But I've seen to many people, especially in their twenties right now, that don't get married, have kids, get government assistance and then share custody so every other weekend the parent without the kids is out getting drunk and sleeping around with some one new. They see this as a type of freedom, always blame the other parent if anything goes wrong. I see a whole generation of p/t parents. Responsibility isn't in their vocabulary. I saw a very young father bring a child to the emergency room. She had cut her foot pretty badly and wanted her mother. He was very nice to her, but many times little kids want their mothers. He tried calling everyone trying to find her. When they finally did she came in so drunk I thought they'd have to admit her. She hugged the little girl but then told the doctor “well this is not my weekend to have to be a parent”. WTH? I can't say with 100% certainty I will never get divorced. But it would not have been the same if we had just lived together— we did for several months before our wedding. Before I got married it was like we were roommates with benefits. When we decided we were going to get married we had to sit down and figure out our shared priorities, hopes, dreams, finances etc Definitely more of a commitment because you can't just walk away without repercussions.
“I’m 45, female, and have been married since I was 27. Sorry if some of you have had bad experiences or are afraid of losing “half of your stuff” (which if you were in a true loving marriage you would admit “half your stuff” is your spouses, maybe that was one marriage problem right there!)”
Does it really matter what the facts on the ground are? The bottom line is there are 10 angry men for every angry woman after a divorce - and single guys see that and WANT NOTHING TO DO with marriage (generally speaking).
If the perception is not changed, then NOTHING will chance in our culture, men will still (rightly or wrongly) be scared to death regarding marrying American (and similar type women)...and marriage will continue to die on the vine.
One problem: In a modern divorce, the man doesn’t get half the woman’s stuff. The woman gets to keep all her stuff and get half or more of the man’s stuff.