I see what you’re saying, and it’s an interesting philosophical point.
Still, all I know is that they left me early, and I miss them. No boy or man was ever good enough for me, as far as my dad was concerned, UNTIL my husband came along. They bonded right away. Then, nine months after our wedding, my father was gone. Even now, eighteen years later, it upsets me to talk about it. My mother was absolutely destroyed, and she never got over his death. She made it another five years, and then she, too, was gone.
That’s my personal experience with the subject at hand...that’s what I know. I wouldn’t try to dissuade another couple from having children later in life. But am I happy with the way it turned out for my parents and me? No. Not at all.
But my situation-—and how I feel-—doesn’t reflect on yours, so you shouldn’t be bothered.
I’m very sorry for your losses.