Gibsmedat eggs?
That would be impossible, because these elements were not found:
A. The parasites would have been traced to North America
B. There would have been traces of artificial chemical compounds from things like Cheetos, Fritos, and Malt Liquor
C. There would have been traces of price tags from merchandise that was obviously not paid for
D. No traces of nonsensical paper speeches from or video tapes of a man standing in front of Greek columns found among the waste.