How to write a compelling illegal alien sob story

American Thinker ^ | 02/27/2015 | Pedro Gonzales

[SeekAndFind]

The New York Times had a very compelling story about an illegal alien who came to the US and immediately gave birth to a sickly baby who died. The problem with the story was that the Times implausibly tied the death of the baby to the lack of immediate amnesty for illegal aliens, and that implausibility made for a weak storyline. Since we've seen so many of these kinds of articles, I thought I'd provide some tips on how to write a better one.

His mother was still in McAllen, a town 10 miles from the Texas-Mexico border — but hundreds of miles and more than an hour’s flight from where her son was, with me, in Houston. She had slogged through coyote-plagued deserts, her seven-months-pregnant belly buoyant in the muddy waters of the Rio Grande. She carried her 4-year-old daughter on her hip as the waters lapped against her, mindful of the copperhead snakes, trudging her way to the promised land: “Tejas.”

Now THAT's quality writing! "Coyote plagued" deserts, buoyant pregnant belly in muddy waters, copperhead snakes, it's like a cross between an Indiana Jones and Jennifer Lopez movie!

She had fled, she told me, an abusive husband and vicious gangs, both of whom had vowed to rape and murder her and her children. Against all odds, she escaped the drug lords, the arms traffickers and that wasteland. And so her baby had been born on the “right” side of the border.

[Arm_Bears]

I have no sympathy for criminals . . . PERIOD.

[Oatka]

She had slogged through coyote-plagued deserts, her seven-months-pregnant belly buoyant in the muddy waters of the Rio Grande. She carried her 4-year-old daughter on her hip as the waters lapped against her, mindful of the copperhead snakes, trudging her way to the promised land: “Tejas.”

HOOT!

This gem should be held up in Journalism classes as an example of the "It was a dark and stormy night . . ." schlock that passes for reporting/journalism these days.

But it won't - more likely as a template.

[Nea Wood]

She had slogged through coyote-plagued deserts, her seven-months-pregnant belly buoyant in the muddy waters of the Rio Grande. She carried her 4-year-old daughter on her hip as the waters lapped against her, mindful of the copperhead snakes...

Gee, that's an awful lot to go through just to get to a country as racist, sexist, xenophobic and evil as ours is.