Reminds me of a classic joke:
A private in WWII is preparing to defend his position against the Germans when he realizes he has lost his rifle. He runs to his sergeant and says, “Sarge! I lost my rifle! What do I do?”
The sergeant looks around, see a broomstick, and hands it to the private and says, “Just point this at the Krauts and say, ‘Bangitty bangitty bang!’”
The private is incredulous. He starts to object, “But Sarge...”
“PRIVATE! JUST DO AS YOU’RE TOLD!”
The private thinks he is defenseless with just a broomstick, so he tries for a bayonet. “What if they get too close? I need a bayonet.”
The sergeant spots a piece of string on the ground, ties it to the end of the broomstick and says, “If they get close, just thrust this at them and say, ‘Stabbity stabbity stab!’”
Now the private really thinks his NCO has lost his mind. He starts to object, “Sarge! I’m gonna die...”
“PRIVATE! JUST DO AS YOU’RE TOLD!”
Dejected, the private returns to his fighting position and awaits battle, certain he will die. When the fighting starts, he yells out “Bangitty bangitty bang!” and a German soldier falls over dead. He does it again, and again. Germans are dying all around him! He can’t believe it! Some Germans get too close, so he yells, “Stabbity stabbity stab!” The soldiers keel over dead.
The private is elated! It works! He’s killing more Germans than anyone else on the battlefield!
Suddenly, he spots a German marching towards him with a stern look on his face.
“Bangitty bangitty bang!”
But the German doesn’t die.
“Bangitty bangitty bang!”
The German keeps marching directly at him, getting close!
“Stabbity stabbity stab!”
It doesn’t stop the German. In fact, the German marches right up to the soldier, unphased, and tramples the poor private into the ground. As the private lays in the dirt with broken bones, the German solider keeps walking on saying, “Tankitty tankitty tank!”
That is an old and very bad joke, and exactly what I thought of when reading the headline.
Don’t tell it when under the influence of alcohol...