Replies

“For the official record, Texas is a completely insane place, they women are covered in green scales and the men shoot guns and drink beer constantly. We have no public education system, the streets are a mess, and the environment is crumbling.”

Come on now, you know that is not true!

Telling the truth about TExAs is more than enough to get the job done.

In fact, Texas is AWFUL.

Too hot in the summer, day after day of 100+ and you will freeze during the winter cold fronts. It is so cold it knocks out the power plants that provide the heating.

In the early part of dang near ever summer we get these huge thunderstorms that have so much lightening it is like artillery barrages and dump hailstone the size of tennis balls. My truck just got busted up by the latest one here in Dallas back in June. The damage was so widespread it took two and a half weeks just to get to an estimator. I didn’t get into a body shop till October. They were all full.

We got killer bees, anthrax in everything from the vegetable gardens to the deer, tornadoes, floods and gigantic wildfires that burn down entire counties.

There are so many rattlesnakes that Texas doesn’t require a hunting license to just kill`em and I think it is only ten bucks for the massive rattlesnake hunts they have every year. It is still ok to stomp them to death when they come up in your front yard.

The ones going to those snake hunts are something else. Here in Texas it is classified as “recreation.” No joke. No traps allowed, gotta use your hands and a stick.

Also there are coral snakes and 10 kinds of pit vipers, including the copperhead, cottonmouth plus eight rattlesnake species. Piranha in some lakes too. There are World record alligators in the rivers as well. It makes for some interesting fishing trips.

Then there are the feral hogs all over the place. No season. No limit. Standard hunting license and you are good to go after the 300 pounders. Just watch out for the packs of coyotes that run wild day and night.

Fire ants. They call them that for a r-e-a-s-o-n. The little suckers attack in mass, go straight up “vertical surfaces” (you) while biting AND stinging.

Mountain lions are pretty much everywhere, including the suburbs here in Dallas. They had to shoot one in downtown El Paso 2-3 years ago. About five years ago one was spotted in a downtown Dallas parking garage! Damn things will hop your backyard fence and chow down on your dogs in a blink of an eye.

Then there are the Texans themselves. Wow! The only folks I know that call their AR-15’s “pellet guns.” Dallas county has so many people doing concealed carry I don’t even have to anymore. Darned if they are not just everywhere. And some are toting iron that makes a .45 look like a 22.

Right now they are talking about making open carry legal in the entire state. Thats right, strap it on, go for pizza. Dang near anywhere, in town out of town, etc.

Texans take their rifles up in helicopters and kill hogs from the air, Air Assault style! No joke, they lock the doors open, strap in and swoop down on those big `ol hogs!

Then they come back five hours later and hunt for coyotes over the dead hogs using night-vision rifle scopes and infra-red laser illuminators.

Pirates!

Yep!

Down on the southern border you have actual pirates. No joke. Mexican “lake pirates” on the Texas border at Falcon Reservoir and other locations on the Rio Grande!

Texas DPS hunts them with 36 foot gunboats.
The armaments on board include:
+ 5 - static mounted [2 dual & 1 single] FN M240B 7.62×51 mm NATO Light machine guns,
+ 2 - Barrett .50 BMG Sniper Rifles,
+ other assorted 5.56 rifles, 9mm sub machineguns, and grenade launchers.

Everywhere you go the people are almost all Republicans or conservatives OR TEA Party! They actually believe that smaller and smaller government is a good thing. It is difficult to find any correctly CSCOPE educated and enlightened people to talk about global warming, renewable green energy or diversity/inclusiveness!

Any if you want to relax for a year or two and write a book or whatever, forget it! You can’t stay on unemployment for as long as you like because jobs are everywhere. Those drilling and pipeline companies working the shale (dirty) oil boom going on in central Texas are hiring everybody in sight.

Not only all that, they actually allow the operation of huge refineries all over the State and offshore drilling and oil production too! Because the refineries are right there you can’t find gasoline properly priced above $2.20 a gallon ANYWHERE.

They are SO BACKWARDS they have not even passed a State income tax and do not require union labor!

Yea, CSCOPE educated and enlightened people would not like it here. They should not even think about showing up in Texas.

IT JUST AWFUL!