Ohh, an Old Fashioned. Make mine a double.
I know a guy that's been baked for decades. He looks like a redneck trucker, which he is. One day on his day-laborer job, his boss, said "Bear, I think some of the boys on the crew are smoking dope." That night, Bear picked the boss up out of the street, as he had fallen down crossing to another bar. Split his face open pretty good. You can abuse any substance, legal or illegal.
A lady that I know just came from Columbia
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out some marijuana ha-ha
She said it was the best in all the land
And I said:
No no no no, I don't smoke it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door
A woman that I know just came from Majorca, Spain
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out a 10 pound bag of Cocaine
She said it was the best in all the land
And I said:
No no no no, I don't sniff it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door
A man I know just came from Nashville, Tennessee oh-oh
He smiled because I did not understand
Then he held out some moonshine whiskey oh-ho
He said it was the best in all the land
And I said:
No no no no, I don't drink it no more
I'm tired of wakin’ up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door