Active Duty/Retiree ping.
Which is what we should have done in '98. Throw in Puerto Rico. And just to make it neat, include the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and the US Virgin Islands. Call it a pre-emptive strike before the Mexicans take back Aztlán. Couple of new states would take everyone's mind off the serious news of the day, like school lunch menus and under-inflated balls.
BTW, The Brothers Castro have made an even more complete fool of our President than the Muslims have. But, look at the bright side, he's completed something.