[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

“...it’s almost tantamount to waving a slingshot without any armor and having the incumbent blow the guy up with a bazooka... You need to start coming in with airstrikes against the other guy first.”

Start with the nosebleed military metaphors.

At least it’s not sports metaphors.

“We can kick a field goal in the ninth inning if we use a full-court press. Remember that you drive for show but you pick up the spare for dough.”

— Alice, from ‘Dilbert’, mangling sports metaphors

Or mixed metaphors.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke.”

— Opus, running for office, from ‘Bloom County’

[Night Hides Not]

With my oldest son, I said this regarding his academic disinterest:

We tried carrots, we tried sticks, we tried carrot sticks, mostly to little avail.