PBSO nabs serial butt grabber in Lantana

Palm Beach County sheriff’s deputies arrested a 22-year-old Greenacres man who could have become Florida’s next serial butt grabber.

Makenson Elysee faces charges of battery and robbery. He remains in the Palm Beach County jail on $6,000 bail.

On Friday morning, investigators say Elysee wandered around the Lantana Shopping Plaza, just east of Interstate 95 off Lantana Road, grabbing women’s backsides, according to a police report made public Monday.

The first woman told police Elysee started touching her as she was walking to the Dunkin Donuts store. He pulled on her arm and grabbed her behind in what she thought was an attempted to steal her cellphone. Then, he grabbed her butt again, according to the report. She told deputies she was able to get away when she hit Elysee with her keys.

The second woman called 911 from a Rent-A-Center store where Elysee was allegedly looking to apply for a job. When she explained all applications must be completed online, the man began touching her all over, according to the report.

The third woman to come forward said she was buying shampoo in a CVS Pharmacy when Elysee came up from behind and grabbed her derriere. She told the man to stop, but he continued, according to the report. It wasn’t until she hit him in the face did he go away.

Elysee was stopped in the area by deputies for questioning, and all three women identified him as their attacker, the report said.

Since June, at least three women on Florida International University’s campus near Miami have reported a male riding a bicycle who grabbed their backsides, according to FIU Police’s website. No one has been caught in that case at this time.

EYDIE GORME

“Blame It On The Bossa Nova”
(Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil)

I was at a dance when he caught my eye
Standin’ all alone lookin’ sad and shy
We began to dance, swaying’ to and fro
And soon I knew I’d never let him go

Blame it on the bossa nova with its magic spell
Blame it on the bossa nova that he did so well
Oh, it all began with just one little dance
But then it ended up a big romance
Blame it on the bossa nova
The dance of love

(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Now was it the tune?)
Yeah, yeah, the bossa nova
(The dance of love)

[Instrumental organ]

Now I’m glad to say I’m his bride to be
And we’re gonna raise a family
And when our kids ask how it came about
I’m gonna say to them without a doubt

(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Now was it the tune? )
Yeah, yeah, the bossa nova
(The dance of love)

(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above ?)

[Fade]

No, no, the bossa nova

Hard to believe this one hasn’t been posted yet:

“Fat Bottomed Girls” - Queen

Are you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me

Hey hey!

I’ve been singing with my band
Across the water, across the land
I’ve seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey)
But their beauty and their style
Wear kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them naughty ladies every time

C’mon!

Oh, won’t you take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside your red fire light
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Hey, listen here
Now I got mortgages and homes
And I got stiffness in the bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this)

Are you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Get on your bikes and ride

Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah,
All right
Ride ‘em cowboy
Fat bottomed girls
Yes, yes, right.

De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Mixaloti equitis

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)

amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
en! quam exstant! nonne piget te earum?
(Lo! How they stand forth! Do they not disgust you?)
ecce mulier Aethiops!
(Behold the black woman!)

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
(Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
(For who, colleagues, would not admit,)
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
(Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
(Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius
(So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)
clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse
(Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)
a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.
(Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)
o dominola mea, volo tecum congredi
(My dear lady, I want to come together with you)
pingereque picturam tui.
(And make a picture of you.)
familiares mei me monebant
(My companions were trying to warn me)
sed clunes istae libidinem in me concitant.
(But those buttocks of yours arouse lust in me.)
o! cutis rugosa glabraque! (*2)
(O skin wrinkled and smooth!)
dixistine te in meum vehiculum intrare velle?
(Did you say you wish to enter my vehicle?)
in arbitrio tuo totus veni
(I am entirely at your disposal)
quia non es mediocris adsecula.
(Because you are not an average hanger-on.)
vidi illam saltantem.(*3)
(I have seen her dancing.)
obliviscere igitur blanditiarum! (*3a)
(Forget, therefore, about blandishments!)
tantus sudor! tantus umor!
(Such sweat! Such moisture!)
vehor quasi in curru quadrigarum! (*4)
(I am borne along as if by a four-horse chariot!)
taedet me in diurnis legendi
(I am tired of reading in the gazettes)
planas clunes gratiores iudicari.
(That flat buttocks are judged more pleasing.)
rogate quoslibet Aethiopes: responsum erit
(Ask any black men you wish: the answer will be)
se libentius expletiores (*5) anteponere.
(Rather that they prefer fuller ones.)
o consortes (quid est?) o consortes (quid est?)
(O colleagues [What is it?] O colleagues [What is it?])
habent amicae vestrae magnas clunes? (certe habent!)
(Do your girlfriends have large buttocks? [They certainly have!])
hortamini igitur ut eas quatiant (ut quatiant!)
(Encourage them therefore to shake them! [To shake them!])
ut quatiant! (ut quatiant!)
(To shake them! [To shake them!)
ut quatiant illas clunes sanas!
(To shake those healthy buttocks!)
domina mea exstat a tergo! (*6)
(My mistress stands out behind!)

[Etc.]

_______ (*1) Any apparent connection with flatulence, even in this context, is purely coincidental.
(*2) The original doesn't make much sense either. Is it a cellulite reference? -- ADDENDUM Nov. 14, 2003: The reading of the text here is a problem which has much exercised the scholarly community, with attempts to explain "rumpled smooth skin," or to suggest that it is a pun (a lame one, if you ask me) on Rumplestiltskin. The likeliest reading is "rub her smooth skin" (cutem glabram eius tere [or terere volo]). Now, there are ten pages of comments below, and a great many of them are devoted to this matter. Please familiarize yourself with the status quaestionis before making your own contribution.
-- UPDATE 12/9/03: a reader tells us that Sir Mixalot's official site confirms the lyrics "rub all of that smooth skin." I am therefore willing to declare the matter solved, and wish to hear no more of it. Thank you.
(*3) Or saltare?
(*3a) I can find no obvious Latin expression that implies "romantic courtship." -- ADDENDUM 10/14/03: Amores has been suggested, but that can also be used for purely sexual liaisons, which is clearly the goal here, and so not to be thus dismissed.
(*4)All right, how would you say "got it goin' like a Turbo 'Vette"? And what exactly is "goin'" here? I have chosen to understand that the unnamed woman's extraordinary callipygy has inspired a primal response in the narrator, rather than that she "has got it goin' on," i.e., that she "is all that" -- although the later lines (not included here) concerning Fonda's Honda and the speaker's anaconda can, ultimately, be invoked in support of either interpretation.
-- ADDENDUM 10/24/03: I have heard from several readers that the music video suggests that this line should rather be interpreted along the lines of "she shakes her posterior most vigorously."
(*5) Or uberiores? Although that's perhaps better reserved for a different fetish.
(*6) This line is not as succinct as the original, to be sure.
-- ADDENDUM 10/24/03: I wish I'd said puella here, as domina suggests a power relationship different from the English original.

Source

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