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I’m a very long-time lurker (going back to the Clinton impeachment days); but I’ve never signed up or posted until tonight. I guess this thread was the catalyst.

One thing about politics in the US that has bothered me for a long time, is the forcing of issues into dichotomies: one is either left or right, the answer is either this or that, etc.

I don’t like a system that forces me to choose between two, when there are lots of other choices out there.

I’m an “old lady” at this point, and I’ve voted all over the place, at different times in my life. It depended on the situation and conditions; but ultimately and always, it depended on my Principles.

I believe profoundly in the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, and the fairness that our Constitution affords to all Americans.

When my husband and I first met, I was a long-time employee of a large institution, and he was a very new employee there. We not only worked for the same institution, but in the same office.

After dating for a number of years, we married; we married while we were still working in the same office.

We were married for quite a while, before anyone but our boss and our closest coworkers knew anything about it. We didn’t break any rules - there were no rules against it.

But we felt that under the circumstances, with all of our workplace contacts having known me by my maiden name for 21 years, it would just be confusing to change my name.

(I also had a sentimental desire to honor my deceased father’s name by continuing to wear it, since he will have no grandchildren; neither my only sibling nor I have reproduced.)

So, there are many business, legal or personal reasons why a woman might desire to keep her maiden name, and a lot of them have nothing to do with “feminism”. I am not a feminist, but I decided to keep my maiden name for business, practical, and sentimental reasons. And some of you men out there, might find a lovely lady who has reasons to do the same. I suggest that it might not be such a total ‘deal breaker’, if your heart is in the right place! (Marriage isn’t about YOU; it’s about LOVE).

Above, I mentioned ‘dichotomies’, and that’s one of the reasons I’ve never signed up or posted until tonight, even though I greatly respect so many of the posters on FR, and regard FR as my main clearinghouse for reliable news and intelligent opinion on current events. I read FR every day.

But sometimes, there’s just so much “hard-line” here. It suggests to me that some people are more ideological than philosophical; and it also seems to me that this is the same problem that we have with the current Administration.

My best to all,
JT1630 (Whose Husband Approves This Message ;-)

Sorry if this is sloppy; I’m just learning this.