Too stupid to roast marshmallows

wnd.com ^ | 10/17/2014 | Patrice Lewis

[rktman]

It seems the U.S. Forest Service recently published a 700-word guide on how to safely roast marshmallows. (The publication was released in time for Aug.30, which was officially, I kid you not, “National Roasted Marshmallow Day.” Your tax dollars at work.)

This comprehensive article suggests that a 10-foot buffer between children and a fire is a good rule of thumb. Roasting sticks should be at least 30 inches in length. (Do the math for how long a kid’s arm will have to be to roast marshmallows from 10 feet away with a 30-inch stick.) Oh, and don’t eat too many marshmallows, since a lot of sugar may prevent children from sleeping well. And be careful of all those nasty calories and unhealthy ingredients in s’mores. Instead, we can roast thin slices of fruit and angel food cake for a “healthier” snack. “You’re still having campfire fun, but the focus is on a healthier evening snack,” the guide gravely informs us.

[rktman]

Beam me up Scotty.

[G Larry]

Some agencies need to be eliminated and others just need their budget cut by 90%, so they can focus on their primary mission and quit trying to run our lives.

[C. Edmund Wright]

Their website had another blog post that week advocating ditching the marshmallows and to use fruit like pineapple etc in s’mores instead.

[glock rocks]

Wouldn’t be prudent to get between my kids and their smores.

[Drango]

Supplemental guide on how to make smores?

[Don Corleone]

There is no intelligent life on the third rock from the sun.

[Molon Labbie]

Yeah, Moochelle says you can make a tasty smore out of her lunch of crackers, slices of ham and cheese and two cauliflour buds.

Yum... or not.

All that belongs on a big chef salad, not in some growing kids lunch.

How did we ever get along without the nanny government teaching us how not to burn ourselves making smores? What’s next, a step by step guide on how not to burn water?

[blueunicorn6]

My first day of work with the U.S. Forest Service was spent in a class covering how not to step in holes.

[bert]

and..... the writer for the Forest Service had a degree in Marine Biology and is making a difference

[Zakeet]

I can hardly wait for the government to come out with a much-needed guide and safety rules on popcorn.

You can't be too careful with that stuff because it (gasp) explodes!

[Bernard]

My first day of work with the U.S. Forest Service was spent in a class covering how not to step in holes.

Quick - somebody get the instructor to jump the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania and show those people how to do that...

[lacrew]

https://www.osha.gov/dsg/guidance/diacetyl-guidance.html

[P.O.E.]

Who knew that popcorn could be hazardous when inhaled?

/s

[the OlLine Rebel]

Yes, soon these particular busybody rangers will be barging into our picnics and telling us no marshmallows allowed. Or maybe they’ll be efficient and search our baggage at the gates to make sure we have no marshmallows.

Sick of these no-fun busybody NAZIs.

[narses]

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[rktman]

I believe my big popcorn maker has bullet proof lexan as the enclosure. Just in case of any errant kernels. :>}

[SandRat]

This comprehensive article suggests that a 10-foot buffer between children and a fire is a good rule of thumb. Roasting sticks should be at least 30 inches in length.

Wonder what's called for to roast a Hot-Dog?

[T-Bird45]

Love the headline, think I’ll steal it to apply selected libs.

[rktman]

You know, you might be on to something there. Which end of the stick goes toward the fire anyway? Required directional arrows (can I say arrows) on the stick for clarity. Also, you got a huge selection to choose from. :>}

[captain_dave]

"...making a difference"

Now there's a meaningless phrase on par with "fair" and "we need change".