Sex in the West is based on a romantic model.
But in Islamic it’s not “boy meets girl, they fall in love, they marry.” In Islam, marriages are arranged and the usually much older groom meets the teenage virgin bride at their wedding. Their wedding night is a traditional “first rape of the virgin.”
A bloody sheet must be hung out the window of the upper-floor nuptial bedroom above the raucous male wedding party revelers, to prove that the bride was indeed a virgin.
Romance, “boy meets girl,” has nothing to do with marriage in Islam.
So it’s not surprising that sex is conflated with rape in Islam. There is even a Pashtun saying, “If you can’t find a boy or a sheep, and old shoe will do.”
“For children a woman, for pleasure a boy”. . .and old islam/arab saying.