I say failure to be *willing* to use the “hit” is indeed the same. (”Don’t think I won’t do it!”) I don’t have to now, I was hardly ever struck when a child myself, but I knew it could come. But it would be fair.
It’s like our foreign policy, which has become very “nice”. Look where it gets us. I prefer a co-worker who said after 9/11 “Operation Sea of Glass” to anything we actually did.
Speak softly and carry a big stick!
“I say failure to be *willing* to use the ‘hit’ is indeed the same.”
I'd be more inclined to agree with that. I'm a little iffy, in light of my own experiences, but we actually started out with that. Our kids knew that the “nuclear option” was not off the table.
We just never needed it.
We found that the secrets to discipline included:
1) Creating conditions that didn't work against our disciplinary and general child-rearing efforts and goals. So, that's why we restricted TV, had no video games, etc. It also was part of the reason for homeschooling for primary school.
2) Making clear what the offense was, why it was an offense, and making clear what were expected ranges of punishment. We tried to do a lot of this BEFORE an offense was committed.
3) Consistency in application of punishment. An important part of this was my wife and I were always on the same page. Neither of my sons ever SUCCESSFULLY played one of us against the other, not they never tried, LOL.
4) Application of mercy when true remorse was demonstrated.
5) General explanation of the source of our authority to govern our children: God made us your parents, and therefore, we have the right and the obligation to discipline you, including up to and including a good spanking.
And most importantly 6) Much, much prayer. Many times daily.
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