The “absent fathers” I know were kicked to the curb by the women (for a variety of reasons, some not the guys’ faults at all); the relationship problems should be laid at the feet of both parents. Often when the welfare bastard is born, the father hangs around and just can’t marry the baby-mama (because of the potential loss of benefits); since both are young and restless, they both end up in other relationships anyway.
The mothers in question are no better role models, passing along lessons in fraud, whorishness, and how to be a gibsmedat. I was shocked at how honest the “Precious” movie was...
Oh, you’re right, of course. Didn’t mean to lay all the blame on the biodads.
My response was aimed solely at those, like Linda, who seem to think the presence of a biodad, in and of itself, has magically life-enhancing qualities for children.
There are biodads a child is much better off not having around.
This is not, BTW, an indictment as fathers of all gangsters. By all accounts the Italian, Irish and Jewish gangsters of the last century were devoted husbands and fathers, for the most part, whatever the morality of their activities when away from home.
Using the term welfare “bastard” doesn’t shame anyone into doing the right thing. All it does is make the user of the term feel morally superior and self-righteously smug.
Instead of using the words “baby-mama,” “absent fathers” or “sperm donor” for the irresponsible adults bringing innocent children into this world, why not apply the term “bastard” to the parents of the blameless child?
I’m under no delusions that most children born out of wedlock (whether they are the offspring of inner-city blacks or IVF babies of single feminists or lesbians, etc.) face a difficult life ahead (either emotionally, socially, financially, whatever), but starting life being called cruel names simply because they were born is not going to make things better.
Call the parents bastards. Put the blame on them. But until children who were born under circumstances beyond their control start acting like feral, irresponsible adults, they are NOT bastards. They are victims of selfish adults and do not deserve to be name-called.
Other than that your post was 100% spot on.