I was helping my uncle at his funeral home during a funeral mass. One of the pall bearers was a 6’5” cross-dresser, pre-op. The family made us aware of this before-hand so that we were prepared. But it was still shocking when “Tamicqua”, a white man, showed up in 7 inch heels, a shiny black dress painted to her body, and a bejeweled feather boa. She insisted she would be able to carry the coffin as required of her. Well, it did not go well. On the 2nd step, one of “her” heels snapped off. She bent down to retrieve it, placing the burden if the coffin on the other 5 pall bearers. The coffin tilted precariously to the left, and I was sure we were going to lose it. And as she bent down, one of her silicone breasts fell out, and rolled down the steps of the church. It was a total disaster!
I was reading a book by Dr.Joseph Nicholosi: "A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality" and he said that when such a boy watches a lot of Disney princess movies they can identify with the character and want to dress just like her. This would be where cross-dressing begins.
The doctor's solution to the parents who go to him for help is to have the boy and the dad do guy stuff, work on a car together, anything guys would do without mom. And for mom to praise her son's manliness.
He has had great success in helping confused boys before it sets in and they become just another sad person as you described.
You've been trapped by circumstances into using the wrong pronoun. It is not a HER or a SHE. While it may seem kind to refer to them by their chosen terms, it only bolsters the hold their illness has upon them.