Posted on 08/14/2014 12:02:52 PM PDT by Borges
Robin Williams was suffering from the early stages of Parkinson's disease at the time of his death, his wife has said.
(Excerpt) Read more at bbc.com ...
“When one has a terrible disease one has the choice of accepting the verdict and living a life of courage and honor as a role model for others.”
If you have open heart surgery, as he did, and suffer addiction, as he did, and divorce, as he did, and long-term depression, as he did, and career loss, as he did, and are diagnosed with Parkinson’s, as he was - and then do what you said, I’ll listen to you. Until then, it’s just blather.
DO you listen to Stefan regularly? He’s my absolute favorite. I litened to him when I went running this AM, as a matter of fact.
Have you BEEN to the deep dark places depression takes you? If you haven’t, you have no right to comment. I have and I can tell you that feels never ending and worse than anything else I have ever experienced in my life and that is WITH medication. I fight every single day to get up and do the most basic of things that most people take for granted. Not because I don’t want to do things, but because I can’t.
I have sat in my car, at the edge of a lake wondering why I should go on knowing that every day is going to be more of the same, the same never ending despair. If you haven’t been there you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I love my kids, but many days feel they would be better without a parent that has been cursed with severe depression. They will tell you stories from their childhood that make you wonder if they wouldn’t have been better off even though they don’t think that. Or they say they don’t think that, who knows. But if you haven’t been there you shouldn’t even go there.
Well, sure, at face value that is the case, but sometimes mental illness grips these people to such an extent they no longer have an ability to measure the consequences.
It’s not always a black and white issue.
Go ask his kids if it’s blather.
You know nothing about what I’ve suffered in my life. Until you do, it’s all just blather!!
Yes, I have. More than once!! Very severe!!
And yes, I have contemplated suicide. Even sought out places to do it where no one would find me until long after I was dead.
But the thought of what it would do to my kids always stopped me!!
PARKINSON’S—— I want to know if this was a slam dunk diagnosis. My guess is it was valid. Unless wifey is some kind of ditz
Then it was up to those close to him to take care of him. Like his wife!!
If she knew all that was going on in his life, as she obviously did, she should have kept a much closer eye on him.
“...and that is inexcusable for a parent to do.”
Yeah, that is the angle I’ve been looking at his suicide from. I can’t fathom how anyone can bail on their kid.
Oh yes!
He is an incredible speaker. I’m still working my way back through them, and haven’t heard one that didn’t make me think.
God bless you, leapfrog. I’m going to be praying for you.
Just imagine the liberal media frenzy that would be taking place if Robin Williams had used gun to kill himself.
Again.. you don’t know this situation. You can shoulda-woulda-coulda until the cows come home, but there’s far more context to it than you will ever know. You’re not qualified to judge it.
“You know nothing about what I’ve suffered in my life. Until you do, it’s all just blather!!”
If we were discussing you or his kids that would be relevant. Wrong thread.
Yes, I am speculating here, but his (William’s) deep depression which may have been triggered or exasperated by the diagnosis of PD, his depressive disorder combined with an overwhelming compulsion to drink again, might have pushed him over the edge.
For some recovering alcoholics, they fear relapsing again, especially if they have before, more than they fear death. In his mental state he might have even rationalized that his family would be better off without him rather than seeing him relapse again on top of suffering a debilitating illness. Obviously people who commit suicide are not in a right state of mind.
FWIW, one of my ex-husband’s AA sponsors; a very intelligent, lovely and kind and gentle man who had been sober over 25 years, was very active in AA and had helped an untold number of men and women get sober, got a diagnosis of terminal lung cancer. He kept it to himself however as we learned later because he didn’t want people to “feel sorry” for him and had been struggling with depression even before his terminal diagnosis.
Around the same time he also learned his youngest daughter who he had recently become estranged from had become a heroin addict and in a very bad way. Although he had been a very good father after he got sober, he blamed himself for not being one when she was little and after so many years later, still felt such great remorse about his drinking that caused he and her mother to divorce and blamed himself for her downward spiral. He was from what I understand very close to his eldest daughter and her children but he nonetheless fell into a very deep depression and secretly started drinking again.
Those of us who knew him, we knew something wasn’t right. He looked ill and we started seeing him at fewer and fewer AA meetings and those he did attend, he’d show up right before it started and would leave right at the end and when he was called on to speak, which was often because he had such an inspirational story and knew the Steps and Traditions and the Big Book and had a strong faith in God and seemingly lived it, he would politely pass. I know that a lot of people in AA and Al-Anon including my husband and I were very concerned and tried talking to him, calling him often, dropping by his house, trying to get him to open up about what was bothering him but he became increasingly withdrawn.
Not long later, he put a pistol to his head and blew his brains out.
We later learned from his eldest daughter to whom he had finally confessed to about his relapse after she found him drunk in his house after not being able to reach him by phone, that he was so horrified and ashamed by his picking up a drink again, that this along with his depression and guilt over his other daughter's addiction and his own impending death; he felt that he was a hypocrite and such a failure, that so many who had looked up to him over the years, and in his own state of mind, shouldn’t have, that he was unable to bring himself to tell anyone in AA and ask for help and that he was soon to run out of time to make things right again anyway.
The irony was that if he had been honest about his relapse and about his depression and medical condition and had asked for help, no one in AA would have judged him or turned away from him just as he had never refused to help a fellow drunk, even a few he had sponsored over the years who themselves had relapsed, something that I understand Robin Williams also did, privately and out of the public spotlight.
Of course those who knew him in AA were devastated over his death and many asked themselves if they could have done more. But his suicide also sparked a lot of conversations about what it takes to be unflinchingly and brutally honest in recovery and the importance of reaching out for help even if they are ashamed and think they are not worthy or that it is futile. So in that way some good came from it.
And ironically his suicide actually propelled his youngest daughter to go to rehab and get clean.
Both his daughters came to his AA home group a year after his death on what would have been his AA anniversary and shared that while they were devastated that he had killed himself, rather than being bitter or angry, they were grateful for having him in their lives, for the love and joy he brought to them for as long as he did, as did many others.
Thanks for sharing the story of your friend. As you have experienced, if you’ve ever known someone who has committed suicide, it’s something you never quite “get over”. A friend of mine killed himself over summer break from college - did not leave a note and to this day, we’re not sure why he did it. He did withdraw from his friends and family starting about 6 months before he finally shot himself, and he rebuffed all offers of help or attempts to understand why he was so quiet and seemingly sad. To this day, I still think of him and wonder just what was going on and what put him over the edge. I still remember him as a sunny, bright, kind and generous person who would have made a difference to a lot of people since he wanted to be a medical doctor. After all these years, I still shed a few tears when I think of him, too. Robin’s family has my absolute sympathy.
I wonder what the depth of Stefan’s trauma was and the extent of the damage he feels he has personally suffered at the hands of hypergamist women. There is a lot of rage there... and while I feel I have been slighted or harmed by one or two females in my life... I am not allowed to adopt or resonate with an inner “victim archetype” in those unfortunate situations. It is a personal responsibility thing... where anything “bad” that happens to me is through action/reaction where somewhere along the line I have made poor choices. My last best female friend... I miss her dearly, but that’s my “fault”... we haven’t spoken to each other in 3 years. I can’t help but feel personally responsible for my choice to emotionally attach to a cruel “mean girl” that frankly... was a low empathy subclinical sociopath.
I could easily sit here and say, “Jessica did this to me, Jessica did that to me”... but the overall point I am trying to impress is that I am not a victim, I am a volunteer. Same goes for all of us. It’s a personal responsibility thing that is a hallmark of conservatism, I feel.
It’s been my experience that people who tend to condemn those who have committed suicide are either either find William’s actions threatening, because they are still in denial about their troubles, or they’ve never been down that path.
Which one are you?
If you have been down this path, than perhaps a little sympathy is in order that William’s wasn’t as strong as you were.
Would you ream out a young girl for cutting herself because she either cannot or will not resist the compulsion to do that?
Thank you so very much Catherine. That means a lot.
I overreacted somewhat, but everywhere I turn since Robin Williams took his life people that don’t have a clue are pointing the finger and using words like selfish. I couldn’t handle it any longer.
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