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Dear Typhoid Miriam,

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles I would very much like to help, but presently all my finances are tied up in the production and sale of a new product that I invented call dehydrated Dihydrogen monoxide. The product would be a God send in cases of nature disasters especially droughts.

Though I can not help I do know of a wonderful organization of which is sure to help you. Not only do I believe that they will help I believe that they could even arrange for you to come to America via Honduras and then Mexico where they could secure you free medical treatment under our the provisions of our kindly leader’s signature Obamacare medical insurance. I would think that this organization as being a great supporter of Mr. Obama could with ease should even be all to arrange a meeting for you with Mr. Obama while you await treatment for your Ebola.

The name of the organization of which I speak is Democratic Underground. I can place you in direct contact with them, but embarrassingly because of my present finances being at their limits I must ask for a small fee to cover my expenses in this matter. If you could see your way to advance me the sum of 250.00 U.S.D. I will then immediately place you in touch with this fine organization.

Please let me know if the price is too high,

Yours sincerely,

Jim Thompson