About 15 years ago, my, now, husband ended up in the hospital. They flat out told me, alter, that if he had had a DNR, he would have passed away. Fortunately, after he awoke, he was determined to be competent enough to designate me POA.
I tell people all the time to not sign a DNR.
Oh, and, my husband is doing very well, thanks to terrific medical care at that hospital and then the VA hospital.
DNR's are interesting documents. I've known DNR's that were intubated...on their Doctor's advice and agreed to it. And got over what they "had" and went on their merry way.
I've know full codes..that lingered on..for weeks and months...on ventilators...that had no chance of living. And eventually coded and died.
I'm not sure why anyone would tell you that about your now husband 15 yrs ago...but he must have been very sick...and some healthcare worker was an ass. I've seen too many!!
I'm glad he survived...and you are doing well together!
I'm a DNR...and I work in the HealthCare biz....But a DNR doesn't say you withhold ALL care....it just says...we aren't going to run a CODE on you..if you stop breathing or your heart stops. Period. Anyone tells you different is not telling you the truth.
FWIW-