The best way to combat so-called “date rape” is to avoid dating in college. Students are paying outrageous prices and going into enormous debt in order to get a degree. They are not there to drink beer and have sex….and get arrested for it because they slept with someone as drunk as they were.
Young men need to protect themselves by not inviting trouble in the first place.
“... and get arrested for it because they slept with someone as drunk as they were.”
That’s not the problem. The problem is that they DON’T get arrested. What the colleges do is have a Star Chamber proceeding and expel the male student involved regardless of what he says or what witnesses say. The student is not allowed to have legal counsel and is often not allowed to face or question his accuser. Sometimes he doesn’t even get to be present. At least one school has it as official policy that if both students are drunk and have sex, it is automatically the male’s fault.
Male students are fighting back. It has been noticed that Title IX is sex-neutral - it says that schools cannot treat the two sexes differently. It does not say that females always get preference. Male students who have been expelled in such proceedings are filing Title IX suits - and winning.
“The best way to combat so-called 'date rape' is to avoid dating in college. Students are paying outrageous prices and going into enormous debt in order to get a degree. They are not there to drink beer and have sex…”
Yet, college is an appropriate place for one to meet one’s future mate. In fact, for many young men and women, it may be the best place to find a potential spouse before going off into the wider world.
Although many young gentlemen and ladies on campus might deny that their dating behavior has anything to do with finding Mr. or Ms. Right, I think that they are self-deceived. My older son is dating a very nice young lady right now, and their thoughts are on determining whether or not this is the right relationship for the rest of their lives. My son had previously broken up with another young lady because he determined that she wasn't the one for him for life, and found he had several young ladies lining up to take their turn at bat.
His friends marvel at his ability to attract pretty, intelligent young ladies. He is a serious-minded fellow, and I credit his success in these matters to three cardinal principles about which he is open, public, and quite firm: 1.) Although dating should be fun, he is ultimately looking for marriage; 2.) that the young lady must be Catholic (or willing to convert); and 3.) that they will remain chaste in the relationship.
This seems to go over very well with a certain portion of the fairer sex. A few young ladies have turned him down when he's asked for a date, but mostly, he's enjoyed a lot of nice times with a number of nice, eligible women. And, as I stated, he's currently in a long-term relationship with a very nice young woman.
The problem is that courting (if I may use such an old-fashioned term) has mutated to a confused state where young gentlemen and ladies put the cart before the horse, first “sampling” the “merchandise” and then establishing whether or not commitment is appropriate.
Once upon a time, this sort of behavior was considered immoral by nearly all. However, most young folks today don't believe that pre-marital sex is wrong, and thus, casual sex becomes part of the whole set of dating behaviors for many.
There is nothing wrong with dating while in college, but to do it right, one must be willing to swim against the tide.
My son thought his views and actions would invite ridicule from the other fellows on campus. Rather, he has won grudging admiration, especially since he has managed to date some fairly hot young ladies.
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