Ashburn, VA, the `burbs, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
“Um, hmmm ... OK, do you really talk?” he asks.
“Sure man.” the dog replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young not long after I started blowing dope, and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
“I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in, sniffing out pot, eating brownies. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a lot of medals. there in my little house. Had a wife, too, and a mess of puppies, and now I’m retired.”
The guy is amazed. A talking dog. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants.
The owner says, “Ten bucks.”
The guy says, “Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
The owner replies, “He’s a lying stoner. He’s high most of the time and he didn’t do any of that stuff.”
We all know Dogs only eat Grass when they have Worms!