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Yay! That’s my birthday. I’ll make sure to patronize CFD that day!
Mayor Rahm gracefully plied into the gay controversy created after Alderman Proco Joe Moreno (1st ward)
publicly announced his opposition to Chick-Fil-A opening in his ward.
Mayor Rham chuckled while doing a graceful plie: "It's easy to do business in Chicago when you know 'the rules.' Chick-Fil-A can open in our town as long as it adopts 'Chicago Values.' "
(1) weekly cash pay off to the alderman;
(2) hire six of the alderman's friends who work only random days of the month,
(3) BIG AL from the Mayor's office picks up all cash in brown paper bags at CFA's back door,
(4) Chick Fil A staff trained by Chicago PD to shoot 10-12 customers per month,
(5) Any CFA customers actually killed must be registered to vote as Democrats at the autopsies,
(6) $100,00 campaign contribution to Obama,
(7) free food to Jesse Jackson, Jr, who is now "convalescing," b/c he screwed up buying Obama's Senate seat.
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THIS JUST IN: Chi/murder rate escalating? No problem--Mayor Rahm has a plan (cackle).
Mayor Rahm stars in the Chicago Ballet's production
of: "The Godfather: Bang, Bang, You're Dead."
Bullet-proof vests supplied to each ticket-holder.