When they go to seat me, I always ask for a table near a waitress.Haha...I like that...may I borrow it ?
When they ask me where I would like to sit, I say "the eating section, please"......good for a laugh too...
When they come by and ask, "How is everything?", I'll glance furtively from side-to-side, and say, "Well, most of the food is ok; but the meat? It tastes kinda like flesh from a dead animal."
It's amazing how many times I'm asked if I want to talk to the manager!