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I'm afraid all of you horribly racist gender-normative members of the VRWC have jumped to the wrong conclusion about Anderson Cooper, as usual. Here's what really happened.

Anderson went to a gun show and was talking to a fellow about the 6.5MM Grendel uppers now available for the M-16. Unbeknownst to Anderson, the gun merchant was a lay preacher, and he brought the Word unto Anderson. Anderson says he repents of being a God-cursèd sodomite, now stands 4-square behind the 2d amendment, has exchanged Keith Olbermann for Ken Copeland, is undertaking private Bible study with Joel Osteen, and is devoting his cut of the Gloria Vanderbilt fortune to the foundation of orphanages in Zimbabwe for children with AIDS. Naturally, this met with the disapproval of his Communist MSM Masters, and he was summarily fired.

Hey, it could happen. Honest.