It is amazing, you must admit, that such an offbeat sect that names their children after their own obscure saints (like for example, Chantelif and Shaquana), dresses in colorful folkloristic costumes (for example, orange three piece suits, trousers with crotches down near the knees), a sect like the Amish, can sing so well, play excellent football, even better basketball, decorate their Cadillacs so creatively, and speak a language that no one can (and few want to) understand.
Tell them you have a better chance if you are gay as well.