I suffer from Pernicious Dandruff and Toastaphobia. The only relief I get is after I smoke a pipe of choom. Now, there will be a place in Washington where I can go to escape the intolerable pain I suffer as my scalp dies and falls off. And while many see toast as merely heat-hardened bread, those of us suffering from the horrors of Toastaphobia recoil in terror at the sight of slices of whole wheat thrusting forth from that most cruel of all appliances, the toaster. If it wasn’t for the courage producing effects of choom, I would spend my waking hours trembling at the white flakes on my shoulders and the fear-inducing smell of cooking bread. Choom allows me to face a world engulfed in flecks of dead scalp and heated bread. Some may use choom to escape reality, but, to me, it allows the freedom to purchase Head And Shoulders shampoo and sit in a Denny’s without cowering under a table.
Have you tried the rum cure?