>>The death is in the dose. If you shove a gazillion twinkies into your mouth, your lifespan will decrease in proportion. Duh!<<
Unless you actually take on the attributes of the Twinkies. If you do, you will have a shelf life of somewhere in the bazillion year range...
I heard that a twinkie can almost outlast cockroaches, and possibly Keith Richards. Depends on how much coke the twinkie snorted.
The reason why Twinkies are bad for you is because they don't have any chocolate in them.
If you have to have a twinkie, then you need to offset the bad effects by washing it down with a cold glass of chocolate milk.