Harpies!
Deep fried harp seal crackers!
(All we use are the ears, though. We throw the rest away.)
All the sugar and twice the caffeine!
With GHB, MSG, and BHT IN DA HOUSE!
Seals beaten fresh daily by the spawn of ex-Nazi prison guards and packaged by dancing boys in Afghanistan.
Free LeGBoT doll with each package. It’s a robot doll with a penis that you can shove back up into the body to make a vagina. Comes with a Prius accessory and AIDS test kit.
Squeeze its body and it says “It gets better with Harpies!”
Every nickel of profit goes to white men living in Purchase, NY.
I think this could work. Hits nearly every demographic.
Deep fried in pure whale blubber. The fryer is heated with coal.